


Magister 2 – The Demon’s Legacy

by Gilescandy



Series: The Magister 'Verse [2]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M, Ghosts, Vampire Giles, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-23
Updated: 2013-08-23
Packaged: 2017-12-24 10:53:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 23,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/939122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gilescandy/pseuds/Gilescandy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Timeline: Starts right after Magister, about a week before BtVS season seven.</p><p>Summary: Giles may have his soul back, but that doesn’t mean he’s done fighting his demon. Can Dawn and Ethan help him find his place in the world again? And, as Willow recovers back in Sunnydale, the ghosts of their past bring doubt and misery. Against so many odds, is a future even possible for this odd couple?</p><p>Dedication: Written in honor of Robin Sachs (1951-2013). We lost a wonderful actor, and I had to make sure one of his beloved characters lived on.</p><p>Awards:  Runner-up, Best Willow/Giles.  Willowy Goodness Awards 2014</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Haunted

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: “Lost in the Darkness" is from Jekyll and Hyde. Music by Frank Wildhorn, book by Leslie Bricusse.

1\. Haunted

Giles felt like he was bound with heavy chains, yet he was not. His limbs were free, only they were not his to control. He was no more than a conscious marionette with someone else tugging at his strings, directing his actions. The only part of him truly imprisoned was his will, his soul.

He felt the magick flow through him as the spell was cast and fabric easily torn aside. She shivered before him, frightened and naked. The terror blazed in her eyes as he stalked toward her.

‘No! I won’t let you hurt her,’ Giles roared in his impotence.

At the same time he could hear his own voice rumble, “It’s time, Willow. I’m tired of waiting for you.” He tried to fight the dark will controlling him, but the harsh voice that shared his mind only laughed at him. ‘Relax, you old fool. I’m about to fulfill your deepest fantasies. And I want you to feel everything that’s coming.’

‘No,’ the Watcher moaned. ‘Not like this.’

He watched as Willow put up her bravest front, a warrior to the last, trying to reason with this monstrous demon. But then he felt his body pressed against her. Felt his lips take hers, rough and demanding. She seared him with her fire. 

Still she stood tall, strong and powerful. “A last request from your queen in human form?” she asked.

He felt his body shiver with need for her. “Command me,” his voice rumbled.

Then came the request that nearly broke him. She was asking to see his face, look into his eyes. “The face I could love,” she said.

And Giles wept at her tears as she touched that face, caressed his features, said her apologies for her part in bringing this torment upon him.

The demon roared to life at this, now only wishing to punish them both. ‘Feel everything,’ he ordered the prisoner in its mind. ‘Remember every sensation, every gasp, knowing it was your filthy desire that brought this about. Your heinous, impure longings for an innocent, little child.’

Giles felt himself released as her heat flowed over him. Finally, he had her. His arms surrounding her, her tight womanhood encasing him. All he ever wanted. He needed it all now. Needed to taste her, devour her as she consumed him. 

This was what he was. All he was.

A monster.

***

Dawn and Ethan glanced sadly at each other when they heard the pitiable cry come from the back of the van.

“He’s having the dream again,” Dawn muttered.

Keeping his eyes on the road, Ethan reached over to squeeze her hand. “One of them, at any rate,” he answered. “I would venture to think that that demon left poor Ripper with enough memories to fill his guilty nightmares for at least a few centuries.” He heard the girl sigh. “Sadly, not everyone can be blessed with my lovely lack of conscience. Makes sleeping at night much easier.”

“You have a conscience,” Dawn smiled at the sorcerer. “You just have to learn how to listen to it again.”

“And what makes you think I would ever feel the urge to do a fool thing like that?”

“Because, instead of running off again, you’re here with me and Giles.” She turned in her seat to look straight at him. “You’re tired of being all alone. You know all you really want is someone to care about. Even if it takes them a while to admit they care about you, too.”

Ethan glanced down shyly for a moment before returning his gaze to the road ahead. “I think my ship with Ripper has sailed without me. Beside, he’s finally declared his undying love for your little witch friend.”

Dawn chuckled. “I just realized that anyone who didn’t know us and heard you say that might think you didn’t like her very much.” Her eyes lit up as that brought a smile to the older man’s face. “And besides… I don’t think that makes any difference. You’re not looking for a lover, Ethan. You’ve had plenty of those. All you want now is a friend or two. Someone who likes you just for being you.”

He glanced over at her, his eyes narrowed in a glare of annoyance at her ability to see him for the pathetic, insecure little git he was. “Maybe I should start with the goal of finding someone who can tolerate me,” he sighed.

She leaned over and put a gentle hand on his shoulder. “I count two already.”

Ethan laughed out loud. “I’m afraid Ripper would see himself more as jailor than anything else in this instance.”

“Well, maybe if you stop trying to mess with him…” Dawn giggle in a conspiriatory whisper.

“Oh yes, take all my fun away,” Ethan chuckled back.

Another soft cry and a thump from the back of the van quelled their laughter. “It wasn’t him. He didn’t do anything wrong. I wish he’d stop blaming himself,” the girl frowned.

“He knows that in his head, but his heart also knows that without his emotions and hidden desires, that demon would have been just another mindless animal. He feels responsible. And, even in the days when we were out of control, I’ve never known Ripper not to own up to his own actions. You’re going to have to give him time to get through this one, Luv.”

“I’m gonna go back and talk to him,” the teenager said, unbuckling her seat belt.

Ethan sighed with a smile. “I thought you might.” He gently held her upper arm as she maneuvered toward the small door between their seats, and whispered, “You can’t fix this for him. Not with a kind word and a kiss on the cheek. No matter how much you might want to. We can be here for him and make sure he doesn’t do something foolish, but it will be up to him to figure out how this new… ‘life’ of his is going to work.”

“I understand all that. But you can’t blame me for caring about him.”

The sorcerer glanced over at her steady gaze. “No, I don’t believe I can.”

Dawn made sure to latch the little door behind her before shifting the dark curtain they’d hung to keep any sun from coming through the cracks. The old catering van Gunn had found them may not have been the most stylish way to travel, but the large, fully-enclosed space in the back was ideal for a party travelling with a vampire in their midst. The girl stood still, trying to wait for her eyes to adjust from the bright sunlight she’d just left to the darkness. She plopped down on the mat they had laid along the wall across from where she knew he had been sleeping, and felt around for the electric lantern. It was only when she laid her hand on it that the soft voice made any sound.

“Please leave it off,” he murmured.

Dawn set it down next to where she sat cross-legged, but did as requested. “Alright,” she put on a cheery voice, “But it’s really not fair that you can see me and I can’t see you.”

“You’re not missing much.”

The girl frowned. He sounded so tired, so down. She wanted so badly to help him, but Ethan was right. There was nothing she could say to change what he was now, what had been done to him. So she sat with him in silence.

It was strange. She knew he was there, likely sitting just across from her, but there was nothing in the darkness to give her a hint of his presence. If he were still human, she could focus on the sounds of his body. A small stomach gurgle here, a joint popping there. But, most of all, his breathing. The sound of his breath could tell her exactly where he sat, even what he was feeling at the moment. Now his body no longer needed oxygen, did not digest food or do any of the things she’d always taken for granted. It was nothing but a dead shell. He was a dead thing.

Dawn hoped he didn’t see the tears gathering in her eyes as she thought. The last thing he needed to worry about was her sadness.

“Does it feel different?” she whispered after several more minutes passed.

“Does what?” he replied softly.

“Being a vampire. Does it feel different than being a human?”

There was a long pause and Dawn was about to withdraw the question when he finally murmured, “It’s… cold. I had always thought that vampires didn’t mind temperature changes because their bodies adjusted like those of cold-blooded animals. But… but they’re just always cold.”

“Oh, Giles. That sounds…”

“I think that is one of the reasons they love to hunt. It’s not merely because they require the sustenance, but for that moment of feeling warm blood flowing through them again. Or… through us, I suppose I should say.”

“Don’t do that,” Dawn whispered sadly.

“Do what?”

“Just lump yourself in with all the other vampires.”

“But, Dawn, that’s what I am.”

“No!” The insistence came out a little more forcefully than she’d expected. “You’re not like the others,” she said softer, and kinder. “And it’s not only because you have your soul. You’re not even like Spike or Angel. You’re unique. Because you’re you. Rupert Giles… Only with a few bonus features now.”

Dawn waited for his reply, but the darkness fell into silence again. She let several minutes pass by before asking, “What are you thinking about?” He gave a noncommittal grunt. “Please. Whatever it is, I’d like to know.”

“No. I don’t believe you would.” His voice was darker, a touch more sinister than it had been before.

A twinge of uncontrollable fear shot through the girl, but she managed to keep it out of her voice as she replied, “I know you don’t think I can help you, Giles. To you I’m just a little girl who needs to be taken care of. Maybe even the little brat that managed to guilt you into staying here in this crappy world. But I am willing to try. I just want you to know that I’m willing to listen. Whatever it is that’s bothering you… I’ll sit here and nod, if that’s what you want.”

A thump in the blackness made her jump a little. It didn’t sound like a fist. Maybe his head falling back against the side of the van. Silence reigned again and Dawn decided to let it stretch. He wasn’t ready to be pushed, but she wasn’t ready to abandon him either.

Deep in her own thoughts, Dawn nearly jumped when she heard soft musical tones coming from her companion. The words were barely audible, “ _Lost in the darkness, Silence surrounds you, Once there was morning, Now endless night…_ ” She waited for the second stanza, but it never came.

“That was pretty,” Dawn ventured carefully. “What was it?”

“Just… just something I heard once. The tune seems to be going through my head lately.” 

“I can understand th-”

“Blood,” Giles suddenly announced. “Y-you said you wanted to know what I was thinking about. I was thinking how Angel and Spike never mentioned how distracting it is… Always women around. Buffy, Willow, Anya, Cordelia… It’s overwhelming.” He released a deep sigh, it was an oddly comforting sound to the girl. “I’ve been sitting here thinking how much you smell like food to me.”

His meaning finally dawned on the teenager. “Oh, God Giles, I’m sorry. I must be driving you crazy. It’s just, well it’s not my normal cycle, but stress sometimes brings it on, and last week when I thought I was gonna lose you and Will and everything… It was very stressful. But this one should be short and done soon. And now I can’t believe I’m talking to you about something so embarrassing.”

“It’s natural, Luv. Nothing for you to feel embarrassed about. What I’m trying to say is that I don’t like looking at you and seeing a meal.” It was Dawn’s turn to sigh. “But, if I’m going to live like this, it’s something I’ll have to get used to. I hate the part of myself that can so easily imagine hurting you right now.”

“Are you going to hurt me, Giles?” the girl asked in a low, serious tone.

“Never,” he whispered.

“And I know that. I know that with all my heart.”

“How can you? After all that’s happened, how can any of you ever trust me again? How can I trust myself?”

“Because you are our friend Giles, and the person who did those things was not.”

The low keen he let escape cut to Dawn’s heart. “My body. My desires. And now my memories.”

“I’m… I’m gonna turn this on now,” the girl whispered. “I can’t stand you being a voice in the darkness anymore.” He made a low groaning sound, but no protest, so she clicked the lantern on. He was sitting directly across from her, his shoulders hunched so that the collar of his coat still threw a portion of his face into shadow. The white florescent bulb made his skin look even paler than it already was, and his tortured eyes were sunken into dark circles. He looked as beaten and broken as he ever had. The sight of him was almost too much for Dawn to bear, but she steeled herself against the pain, determined to be strong for him.

“Better?” he asked in a nearly inaudible voice.

“Yes,” she forced cheer into her answer. “Seeing you is always better.” His snort said he didn’t believe her. “Alright, you caught me. Your cheeks are a little less rosy than they used to be.” The near smile she got was enough to give her hope. Dawn lowered her voice to a more sincere tone. “I still love you, Giles. I always will. I know it’s hard for you to believe that now, but someday I hope you will. And I’m not the only one. You’re still a Scooby, part of our family. A very important part. And I’m not even the one who loves you the most. I know it’s hard to believe.” She pulled her backpack over and dug out a sealed envelope. “Willow knew you’d still be having a hard time, so she gave me this to give you when I thought you might need it.” Handing him the letter, she made sure her warm fingers lingered on the cool skin of his hand. “Do you really think she could love you so much if you were what you think you are?”

Giles clutched the envelope, but made no move to open it. A moment later, a knock sounded from the cab of the van. Ethan’s muffled voice said, “Pit stop.”

Dawn watched Giles a little longer, but he didn’t move. She began to rise before he asked, “Am I missing anything? Out there…”

She grinned down at him. “Still just flat farm land. Ethan says we can cut over to the Pacific Coast Highway soon. It will take us the longer way around, but it’s not like we’re in any hurry. We should be able to walk on the beach tonight.”

“Sounds lovely,” the vampire sighed.

Dawn crossed to the small door. “Oh, and…” she began to sing the same tune he had sung earlier in a slightly shaky voice, “ _We will find the answers, We’ll never desert you, I promise you this, ‘Til the day that I die._ ”   The young girl gave him a radiant smile. “And, in case you’re wondering, you’re neither one. Hyde was evil, and there’s nothing evil about you. And you make Jekyll look like a total wuss. I like musicals, too.”

“Don’t tell the others…” he whispered hopefully.

“Our secret,” she chuckled, then left him in the darkness still clutching Willow’s letter.

Dawn blinked rapidly until her eyes adjusted to the bright afternoon sun. Ethan was standing outside waiting for her.

“That took a while,” he commented. “Any progress?”

“I don’t know,” the girl frowned. “He’s more depressed than I’ve ever seen him. Even the times Buffy was mad at him for some reason. I just wish he’d let us in to help.”

“Did he talk to you?”

“A little bit. But he wouldn’t say much.”

Ethan put an arm around her shoulders as he led her into a restaurant for lunch. “My amazing little goddess, Ripper doesn’t talk to anyone when he’s like this. Never me, and I’d bet not even his Slayer. He loves you, my dearest. More than you can even imagine.” She glanced up at him with a shy smile.

***

Buffy rolled her neck wearily as she let herself into the quiet house. It was an awful day of slinging burgers for masses of people who were too caught up in their own problems to pay much attention to anyone else. Buffy knew that feeling and she tried not to mind, but it was exhausting being practically invisible all day. What she needed was a nap and a good meal before heading out for patrol later that evening. Luckily, Spike had managed to keep the normal demon population in check while she’d been in L.A.

Some muffled clinking from the kitchen caught Buffy’s attention and she went to investigate. “I thought you were supposed to be recuperating,” she said quietly, leaning against the doorway.

Willow’s head shot up guiltily from looking into her cup. “Oh, I didn’t hear you come in.”

“I promised everyone I’d take care of you until you got stronger,” her friend crossed to pick up Willow’s tray and help her to the table.

“I think I can get some tea by myself,” the redhead smiled gratefully. “I just couldn’t stand lying in bed anymore.”

“Still having trouble sleeping?” Buffy retrieved a cup of her own and sat down across from Willow, who was slowly nodding. “The nightmares?”

“I came down here because I thought the tea would help me relax. It kinda became a thing while I was in England. Every night Giles would bring me a cup of tea and sit with me. He never said anything, but I knew he would listen to whatever I wanted to talk about. A lot of times I would cry over Tara, or how much it hurt while the others were helping me control the dark magick still inside me. Whatever it was, he would just be there.” She looked up at her friend with a sad smile. “I can’t even tell you how many nights he was the last thing I saw or his voice was the last thing I heard, how many nights I fell asleep from exhaustion with him still holding me. Even in the beginning when he was still in pain from everything I did to him.”

Buffy reached across the table and held her hand. “We tended to take for granted how amazing he was, didn’t we? Is… is that when you fell in love with him? While you were in England?”

“If I’m honest with myself… no.” Willow smiled shyly. “I think I started loving him when I was sixteen-years-old and found this incredible man in the library.” She watched as Buffy glanced away for a moment. “That wigs you, doesn’t it?”

“No. It would have, but not anymore.” The Slayer chuckled. “Good thing you were too shy to do anything about it back then. Would have given the poor guy a heart attack or something.”

“Definitely would have been a cluck-worthy situation,” her friend giggled.

Buffy sighed, “And now that you can admit you love him, every time you close your eyes he shows up to ra… to hurt you.”

“It’s not exactly like that…” Willow took a slow sip of her tea, trying to find the words she wanted to say. “By the time he really attacked me, he had stopped all his pretending. In his eyes, his voice… there was nothing of Giles there at all. I think Magister wanted to punish Giles as much as me, because by that time he’d realized he could never slip into the place Giles held in my heart. But, when I woke up after the spell and looked up into his eyes, all I saw was pure Giles. I knew beyond all doubt that his love would never let the monster hurt me again.”

Buffy nodded slowly. “Plus, it must have been frustrating for the demon to know that most of what he did came from the feelings he’d inherited from Giles.”

“That’s a very astute observation, Buffy,” the redhead grinned.

“Yeah well… I’ve had some practice with the vampire logic.”

Willow slowly shook her head. “Look at us. Both fools in love with vampires.”

“Oh no… Don’t lump me in with you guys. Your man just happens to be a vamp now because he had to be stupidly heroic and his meddling friends loved him too much to do the smart thing. You two are not going to have any of the convoluted troubles I tend to have with my wreck of a love life. Watch, he’s gonna come back for you, and you two are gonna have the happiness you both deserve.”

“I don’t know, Buffy. Dawn says she’s worried about him. I don’t know if he’ll come back from this.”

“Tell you what… When Dawn calls tonight, we’ll see if we can get him to talk to you. That should make you both feel better.”

“Do you think he will?” the witch whispered hopefully. “That couple of days when he and Ethan were resting up before they left the Hyperion, he couldn’t even bring himself to come in and look at me. I hate that he feels so guilty for things no one blames him for.”

“Blaming himself has always been enough for him.   Oh, that reminds me, Dawn says he’s been having nightmares, too. Maybe if you talk about--”

“No, Buffy!” Willow grabbed her arm with worry in her eyes. “Giles can’t know I have nightmares about what happened. He’ll never ever forgive himself. Promise me you won’t tell him.”

“Okay, Wills. Don’t worry, I won’t tell him. You can just let him know you love him and you’re waiting for him to come home.”

“If he’ll talk to me this time.” Willow sighed into her tea, “I miss you, Rupert.”


	2. Voices in the Dark

**Chapter 2 – Voices in the Dark**

 

“Why are we stopping while it’s still daylight,” Giles grumbled.

“Because,” Ethan called through the open access door and the dark curtain as he concentrated on backing into the parking space in front of their motel room. “Not so long ago, someone saw fit to break a great majority of my ribs. And, even though the magick is holding them firm as they knit, there is still a bit of pain involved. I can’t sit in this bloody van any longer. Therefore, unless you want to come up here and drive us into the sunset…”

“This is humiliating,” the vampire growled.

Dawn giggled as she helped wrap a protecting blanket around him. “The door is only a few feet away. Ethan will have it opened for you and all you need to do is cross the sidewalk and get inside.”

“And why does the blanket have to be pink?”

“It’s a gift from Cordy,” his young friend grinned. “She wanted to make sure you thought of her every time you used it. Remember what she said? She has an in with the PTB, and if you ever think about getting a nice tan again, she’ll make sure they tell us exactly where to find you.”

Giles began to protest, “I’m…” but stopped when he caught a glint of worry in the lantern light reflected in the girl’s eyes. “I’m not going to do that again,” he continued softly, ghosting his fingers across her cheek. “I promised to stay with you and, if I fail in that promise, it will not be by my choice.”

“Dawn, Luv,” Ethan called from the front. “Why don’t you come in and make sure the room is safe for our photosensitive friend with me. We’ll knock on the back when we’re ready for you, Ripper.”

The vampire gave a nod and was again left alone to wait in the darkness.

Three solid knocks came quicker than Giles had expected. The van doors flew open and he was off and across the strip of sunlight in a flash.

“Safe,” Dawn laughed as he whipped past her. “Didn’t even start smoking.”

“You seem disappointed,” Giles groused as he disentangled himself from the blanket.

“Come now, Ripper. No need to sound petulant.” Ethan entered, carrying some small travel bags, and shut the door. “I’m sure you’ve done your share of teasing the bloodsuckers in the past.”

“I feel petulant,” the vampire grumbled. “And Dawn knows I’m not cross with her.” He turned soft eyes on the girl to make sure. She stepped in and wrapped her arms around him with a giggle. Giles tenderly returned her hug. “You, on the other hand, have much to answer for.”

Ethan spread his long body along one of the two double beds in the room. “And what have I done this time?” he sighed.

“Why are there only two beds? Why didn’t you get a suite like before? I told you I would handle the cost.”

“Ripper, I know you haven’t had a chance to look around, but we aren’t in the metropolis anymore. This is the best you can expect from a highway-side motel. And short of getting young Dawn her own room…” The watcher growled at that idea. Ethan nodded knowingly, “We both promised to keep her safe. This is the best way.”

“And just how do you envision the sleeping arrangements?”

The chaos mage gracefully shifted to one side of the bed with a growing grin. “I’d be perfectly happy to share. I can ‘envision’ a lovely night with either of you… or both,” he added slyly.

“Why you dirty, miserable old fuc--”

“Giles,” Dawn’s soft voice stopped him mid-rage. “It’s fine. He’s messing with you on purpose.” She sent a pointed glare at the other man. “You know that getting you all worked up is his idea of fun.”

“Better than anyone,” he growled.

“You can share the bed with me, and we’ll leave him all alone. That’ll teach him.”

Ethan gave an over-dramatic sigh of defeat, making her laugh.

“No,” Giles breathed with a small smile, finally accepting that he was doomed to be forever picked on. “You need your space to be comfortable. You each take a bed and I’ll sleep on the floor between.”

“But, it’s too hard. You can’t--”

“Luv, you’re looking at me and seeing an old man. And while that makes part of me very happy, the truth is I can sleep wherever I must. Be it stone crypts or sewers, this body will be no worse for it.”

“All right. Only if you promise to push me over if you get too uncomfortable.”

Ethan sat up with a flourish. “Right. Now that the two of you have decided to remain monumentally boring… What would the lady like to feast upon for her super tonight?”

***

“…Of course, they’re feeding me good stuff. What do you think, Buffy? I’m with Giles. Mister ‘eat your vegetables blah blah blah’.”   Dawn spoke into the cellular phone as she picked up a slice of the greasiest pizza Giles had ever seen and took a huge bite. “I mean, it’s not like I’m with a bunch of stupid teenagers. I’m basically on vacation with an old married couple…”

Hearing this, Ethan exited the bathroom and strode up to wrap his long arms around his old friend from the side. “They grow up so fast, don’t they?” he cooed, then planted a big kiss on the vampire’s cheek.

“Get off, you bloody pillock,” Giles growled, pushing him away, yet being surprisingly mindful of Ethan’s sore ribs.

“Careful, Dear. Such language in front of the little one,” the mage teased.

“Shh,” Dawn hissed at them, trying not to laugh at their antics. “I’m on the phone here. No, Buffy. It’s a little town on the coast. Not sure of the name. We’re going for a walk on the beach as soon as the sun goes down in a few minutes.”

Giles watched her affectionately. “I can’t believe you got her that disgusting thing,” he whispered to the other man.

“Our princess wanted pizza. I accommodated.”

“At least she looks happy,” he sighed. “I can’t imagine…”

“Oh, come, Rupert. Remember when we were young. There were plenty of nights filled with decadent curries and gallons of whatever rot gut we could get a hold of. Among other delights,” Ethan added with waggling eyebrows. “Let her be young while she can.”

“To a point,” Giles added in slight warning. “Our youthful behavior is nothing for a young lady to strive for.”

“That, we can agree on.”

The Watcher chuckled as another slice disappeared. “You’d better get over there before the entire thing falls prey to a teenage appetite.”

“Ripper, youth is far behind both of us. If I ate that, it would make me pay dearly.” He picked up a plastic box containing a salad. “Here is my portion of the feast. This perfection doesn’t happen easily you know,” with a smirk, he lifted his shirt to show off an impressive abdomen.

“Hold on, Buff, let me put you on speaker. The boys are whispering again.”

“…I just wanted to let you know that we’re doing good here,” Buffy’s voice came through the tinny speaker. “Xand and I had to go back to work. Anya is full steam at the Magic Box. And Willow is getting stronger every day. Oh, speaking of Will… She was kinda hoping that Giles would be up to talking tonight. She misses him.”

Both Dawn and Ethan shook their heads sadly as the motel door clicked shut. “I’m sorry,” the sorcerer sighed. “He’s gone.”

“He’s… He’s probably right outside. I know he was looking forward to our walk. I could go and try to bring him back.”

“No,” Willow’s voice came on. “If he’s not ready yet, don’t push him. Just tell him I love him and can’t wait until he comes home.”

Dawn frowned. “Sorry, Willow. And I will tell him. I gave him your letter earlier today, but I’m not sure he’s read it. He’s still being really hard on himself.”

“That’s all right. Thank you for looking after him for me, Sweetie.”

“It’s my pleasure,” Ethan answered, making the girl grin. “Are you keeping up with the meditations I taught you, Dear? The overload of magick I gave you is still draining. I know you must be feeling it beneath your skin even now. But the chaos likes you. As long as you release it slowly, you’ll be fine.”

“Chaos likes me? That explains so much,” Willow snorted. “Yes, Ethan. Thank you. I do some everyday and it is helping me relax.”

“Again, my pleasure, Luv.”

Buffy’s voice returned. “And is Trouble-in-a-tacky-shirt behaving himself? Just tell me if I’m gonna have’ta kill him.”

Ethan brought his hand to his chest in a mock-hurt gesture and Dawn laughed. “He’s being a perfect gentleman. Still likes to pick on Giles, but not too bad. You don’t have to kill him, Buffy.”

“Besides,” the mage added. “If the time comes, I think it’s Ripper who’s earned the honor.”

“You really are a weird one, aren’t you?” The Slayer sighed heavily. “How is Giles doing, really?”

The two in the motel room shared a sad look. “It’s pretty bad, Buffy,” Dawn began. “It’s like he’s so scared of himself right now, he can’t even move. I try to help him, but I don’t know what more I can do.”

“Is he still big with the nightmares?”

Ethan answered, “I believe he never closes his eyes for long without seeing the atrocities his alternate-self committed. It’s beginning to show. I know Ripper is one of the undead, but the level of death he’s achieving at this point is not becoming on him. The man has always taken his own failings very hard. Yet, no one else can ever find the key to pulling him from a downward spiral. Your lovely sister is the best medicine for him at this juncture, Slayer. He would never do anything especially foolish with her here depending on him.”

“Thank you, Ethan,” Buffy whispered. “I would have never thought you’d be the man to look after anyone. But thank you for having my Watcher’s back.”

“Anything for the Summers women.”

“Buffy, I think I’d better go find him now. It’s dark enough we can go for our walk.”

“Tell him we all love him, Dawn. We love you, too. Goodbye.”

The phone clicked off and Dawn looked at Ethan. “So, are you coming?”

“I think I’ll stay here and do some healing meditation, Luv. You go show our man some of the beauty out there in the world.”

***

“I’m headed out for patrol, Wills. Need anything before I go?”

“I’m good, Hun!” Willow called from the bathroom. “You just be careful.”

“I always am. You get some sleep.” The front door clicked shut and locked.

Willow sighed at her reflection. “Sleep. Easier said than done.” She finished getting ready for bed and walked into her bedroom. A familiar figure sitting on the bed looked up at her. “OHMYGOD! Tara! Baby?” Tears ran down her face.

The lovely vision had a slight smile. “Hey, Will.”

“How are you here? I don’t understand…”

“Well, you didn’t expect me to just leave and not check in on you.”

“Tara,” Willow reached for her, but the blonde witch easily rose and crossed to gaze out the window. “I’ve missed you so much, Baby. I’ve needed you. You don’t know…”

“Oh I know,” Tara said lightly, still facing the window that had once been broken. “I’ve been watching you the whole time. Funny, something so tiny can fly into a room and change so much.”

Willow sat heavily on the bed and murmured, “You must be disappointed in me. The way I reacted when I lost you was--”

“I understand all that.” Tara turned back to her. “It was my fault because you weren’t ready to be alone again.”

“How can being murdered be your fault?”

The blonde flashed her pretty, shy smile.

“If it wasn’t for Giles and the others, I don’t know what would have happened.”

“He was really there for you when you needed him, wasn’t he?” Tara’s gaze dropped to the floor.

“Yes, he was. And I guess you must know how I ended up repaying him. I don’t know what to do, Tara. Now he’s suffering something I can’t even imagine. How can I help him?”

“Well, you did manage to go on and give him his pesky soul back.” The eyes that looked back up at Willow were a touch too dark for her lover. Her voice had a hard edge it never had before. “You told him you love him.”

The redhead was taken aback for a moment. “O-of course, I did. I do. He needs me now and I’m not going to lie to him.”

“And, if you’re not lying to him, that must mean you spent all that time lying to me.”

“No, Baby,” Willow shot up and took a step forward reaching out. “No. I never… I did lie, but never about that. I loved you. I still do with all my heart.”

“I always knew that I was some kind of experiment. That what you really wanted was something else, something maybe not so soft.”

“It has nothing to do with that. I swear, Baby. He just happens to be, but that doesn’t make any difference to me. I love him because he’s Giles.”

“I knew you did. You have all along. Just used me as your play thing until you had your chance at that dirty, old… MAN!”

Willow’s knees felt week under the harsh accusations. Tara became a blurred form through the tears in her eyes. “No,” the witch whispered, trying to clear her whirling thoughts. “No, this isn’t right. My Tara would never be like this. She was an angel, a saint. She loved me and she loved Giles. And if she saw that we could be happy together, she’d be happy for us.” She stood straight and screamed at the intruder. “Whoever you are, you’re not my Tara! Get the hell out!”

The sound of slow clapping from behind her spun Willow around. “That went better than I expected.”

The witch gasped and jumped back. Tara was now gone and at the other end of the room stood… “Miss Calendar?”

“Gotta hand it to you, Kid. You’re a real go getter. Chasing after everything you want, not caring who you trample on the way. I always knew you’d be on top one day.”

“I… I don’t understand. Did I do something to upset you? Why would you use Tara against me?”

Jenny gave her a confident smile. “I wanted to see what you would do. Honestly, I’m impressed you saw through the image. Maybe you did learn some things about her while it was all about you.”

“All about…?” Willow angrily swiped the tears from her eyes. “It wasn’t all about me. I loved Tara.”

“Oh please,” her ex-teacher mocked. “You’ve always been out for yourself. Didn’t take you long to rip all you wanted from my life.”

“How can you say that? I was crushed when you died.”

“Oh, crushed…” Jenny mocked. “I’m sure you wept as you proceeded to then take my class… take and perform the spell I died for… take credit for bringing Angel back…” She paced easily around the room as she spoke. With a sharp turn back to Willow she concluded. “You know, I was fine with all that. Someone had to do it, and I was flattered you wanted to follow in my footsteps.”

“Of course, I did. You were one of the best people I knew.”

She jumped as Jenny’s face contorted into an ugly frown. “But now you’ve taken the last of what was mine and I can’t stand for that.”

“What… I… I didn’t…” Willow stumbled back from the frightening presence.

“You stole him right from my grasp. Rupert was to be mine. I was there waiting for him. My arms open and ready to at last hold him forever. But no! I had to watch as you brutally fed him to a vampire. You callously ripped his soul from his body and kept it all for yourself.”

“But you have to know we still needed him. We can’t handle any of this without him,” Willow cried her defense.

“Yes, it’s all about the cause, isn’t it? Nothing to do with any base personal desires,” Jenny spat. “Tell me how he felt against you, Little Girl. Still warm and hard? His battle torn hands gently worshiping your skin. His velvet lips breathing life into your soul. Tell me how he felt inside you. What it was like to share one flesh with him. I was murdered before I could know him completely, so you tell me what it is to have all of him!”

Willow collapsed against the bed under the force of the onslaught. “I can’t… I don’t know. None of that was him. It was the demon. Please, Jenny, I’ve never been with Giles that way.”

The ghost chuckled wickedly. “But you can’t wait, can you. You can’t wait to see how all of that feels. To taste his soul. You want him to come crawling back to you so you can claim him as all yours, just like everything else.” Jenny sneered down at the weeping girl. “You’re not worthy of him.”

The next moment Willow was alone in the dim room, balled up on the floor and trying to control her sobs.

***

Giles stood, watching his sleeping companions. The only light in the room was the glow of the digital clock proclaiming it to be a little past one in the morning. The occupants of the two beds were both breathing steadily, deep in peaceful sleep. He envied them that.

Ethan began to twitch uncomfortably, the pain in his ribs threatening to wake him. Giles silently crossed the room and sat on the edge of his bed. Placing his hand only centimeters over Ethan’s bare chest, he closed his eyes in concentration. The man settled back into a deep sleep, his pain gone. Even in the darkness, the vampire could see the large bruises still covering the sleeper’s chest as his nightshirt fell open. The twang of guilt he felt was useless, so he decided to focus on another thought, one that brought a slight smile to his lips. Because, while Ethan refused to fully button his pajama top, the ensemble he had taken to wearing to bed was still much more appropriate in Dawn’s presence than his preferred nighttime attire of their youth.

Giles flexed his hand, the skin growing deep purple and the bones creaking with phantom pain. He stood and headed back toward the open space of the room.

“Why don’t you just throw the poor bloke a bone for once?” the vision of Randall at his shoulder spoke. “We all gave into to the prat’s charms at some point back in the day. You were the only hold out, something of a mount bloomin’ Everest to our shag crazy little friend there. What’re you still holdin’ out on him for, Ripper? Not like the demon left you with any undiscovered territory. Hell, I’d bet for you he’d even play the submissive.”

“We’ve all had to grow up since you died, Randall. Even Ethan. There are more important things to life than sex,” Giles whispered to the ghost at his shoulder as he gazed down at his sleeping friend.

“Geez, never thought I’d hear you say a thing like that. The stud of the pack. You could pull a bird even if we stumbled into a bloody church.”

“That was a long time ago.”

Randall crossed in front of him and looked down at the peaceful form of Dawn. “Now I get it. This was always more your taste, innut mate? So young an’ innocent. So tasty.”

“Get away from her. She’s fifteen, you bloody fool.”

“Al’ite… not quite legal. Just how you used to go for ‘em.”

“We’re not in England, you stupid berk. Here, she’s far from legal. And I never pulled a girl who wasn’t my match. It was you and Philip who tended to go a bit too young. Free love is dead, Randall. As dead as you are. So step away from the girl before I make you.”

The vision smirked, but stepped back to where Giles stood. “You’re not as saintly as you think you are, Ripper. I know what you dream of, what you long for. The one back home waiting for you. She your match, ol’ man? Only a few years older than this little bit, innut she? Just on the verge of womanhood. And so limited in experience compared to you. Practically a virgin, too. But you can’t wait to get back into her little arms, her little bed. To wedge yourself back into her tight, juicy little cun--”

The vampire lunged at him with an angry growl, “You shut your filthy mouth.” But Randall easily avoided him.

“Gettin’ slow in your old age, mate,” he laughed. “What are you gonna do, kill me? Oh, but you did that, didn’t you?” His voice grew lower and his skin began to split and peel away just as it had the night Eyghon took him. “You put a demon inside me. Told me to trust that you had everything under control. But you didn’t, did you Ripper?” The vision became more and more gruesome, causing even Giles’ lifeless stomach to lurch. “You watched as the demon fought and I tried to rip it out of my own flesh. And when you couldn’t watch anymore, you killed me. Just like you’ll end up killing everything you’ll ever profess to love. It’s who you are, Rupert Giles.” 

The ghost exploded in a cloud of smoke and ash as Giles turned and ran out into the night.


	3. The Mark of Magister

**Chapter 3 - The Mark of Magister**

The door to the crypt burst open to reveal Buffy, framed in the morning sunlight. Spike rolled his head against the back of his recliner to look at her. “Oh, bloody… Can’t a bloke get any rest without you people yappin’ in his ear?”

“What are you talking about, Spike? This is the first time I’ve seen you since… You know what, never mind. I don’t have time to care right now. I have to get to work.”

The vampire sighed, remaining sprawled in his chair. “So what do ya want from me? A quickie to start the day?”

“Eww, Spike. Never again!”

“A guy can hope,” he sighed.

“Listen,” Buffy stepped in and looked at him with a hint of sympathy behind her eyes, “Wow, you look terrible. Anyway, I wouldn’t ask, but you’re like the only one free right now.”

Spike perked up. “Trouble? Somethin’ need killin’?”

“What? Oh, no… The thing is, when I got in from patrol last night, I found Willow on the floor, crying. She wouldn’t tell me what happened. Just kept mumbling how they were right. Whoever ‘they’ were. I just don’t want to leave her alone all day. Especially, if something really is after her.”

“You think the witch had visitors?”

“I don’t know. She hasn’t been sleeping lately. And she’s really worried about Giles. I mean, I get why he’s mad at me. But why not talk to Willow?”

Spike gave her an oddly serious look. “Do you think it’s easy? To know you’re a monster and not want to be what you are?” He sighed. “Watcher’s got some strength in him. He’ll come through for all of you that’s countin’ on him. Always has.”

“I know that. But right now Wills’ in trouble. Will you just go hang with her for a while?”

The vampire nodded. “I’ll take the tunnels in a bit.”

“Thanks, Spike.” The Slayer glanced at her watch. “Man… I gotta go! I’m gonna be late again.”

***

“Hey, Giles, you awake?” Dawn chirped through the cracked open back doors of their van.

“Yes,” the Watcher sighed. “What is it, Luv?”

“We’ve got a surprise for you.” The excitement was evident in her voice. “You ready?” The doors flew wide open, and the vampire scrambled back from the potentially deadly sunlight. “Don’t worry,” she tried to calm him. “We parked under lots of trees. No direct sunshine.”

Giles blinked out into the bright day. The van was backed up into a tiny stand of shade trees. A few feet away there was a short, stony slope that led down onto a small beach. The blue and white waves lapped soothingly at the sparkling sand as a family walked along the water’s edge throwing a ball for their energetic puppy. A warm breeze blew the salted air into the van compartment and caressed his face.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” Dawn grinned at the near wonder he gazed out at the scene with. “We had to share this with you. It would have been too sad to leave you in the dark while we got to enjoy it.”

“Yes,” he whispered. “It’s stunning. Thank you.”

“Ready for some fun, my dearest?” Ethan asked as he came around the opened doors. He was dressed only in a pair of bright red swim trunks. Giles noticed a slight sparkling around his surprisingly tan torso. The mage caught his appraising glance and grinned, “A small glamor added to the strengthening spell. Just to hide the worst of my injuries from those who needn’t be nosey.”

“I suppose we should count ourselves lucky to be spared the appearance of a speedo,” the Watcher quipped.

Ethan smirked, “At least I can still pull one off.”

“Arrogant bastard,” Giles muttered with just a hint of hidden amusement.

Dawn giggled, “You two just can’t help it, can you?”

“Are you ready?” Ethan gave her a dazzling smile.

“Just a sec.” Dawn pulled off her shirt and shorts to reveal a lovely blue one-piece bathing suit beneath. “Are you gonna be ok here while we swim for a while?” she asked Giles. “I’d wait, but it’s a little late in the year for night swimming.”

He smiled shyly at her thoughtfulness. “This place is just fine. I think I’d have more fun watching you enjoy yourself anyway.”

“All right. We’ll be right out there where you can see us the whole time. Oh,” she grabbed a guitar she had propped against a nearby tree. “Faith rescued this when she and Wes went back to make sure the castle was cleared out. I thought the scenery might be… I don’t know, inspiring?”

“Thank you,” Giles whispered as she handed him the instrument.

“Shall we, my lady?” Ethan offered an arm and together they carefully picked their way down the rocky slope to the beach.

Giles sat back in his safe mobile cave, holding the guitar on his lap, and watched the others play. Dawn seemed younger than she had for a very long time, running and squealing as Ethan playfully chased her. She was, for these few moments, allowed to be a child again. He couldn’t help but envy Ethan a bit for the ability to give that gift to her. And Ethan himself had a look on his face that Giles could never remember seeing before. It was joy, plain and simple. The chaos mage had found something he’d never experienced before. A friend who took him as he was and, perhaps, even expected a little better from him.

The Watcher chuckled as Ethan exaggerated his collapse on the sand in exhausted defeat. Dawn ran down to the water and filled her cupped hands, carrying as much of the cold liquid as she could back to dump on Ethan’s face. The mage grabbed at her, missing, and rose to follow her fleeing form into the crystal blue waves.

As he watched, Giles’ fingers began to absently pluck at the strings beneath them, drawing notes and cords out that never quite formed into a recognizable melody. He gazed down, following the vibrations of each individual string with his enhanced vision. The sight was almost as hypnotic as the sounds they produced.

“Woha, you got some skills, Man.” The new voice from the end of the van made him look up with a start. “But why all the minors? We got the sun and the surf, Dude. Nothin’ better to ask for.” The young man standing before him held a bright yellow surfboard at his side and sported a dark tan over his muscular body and shaggy blonde hair. He was the picture of a California beach boy that Giles would have never though actually existed.

“Thank you for the compliment,” he mumbled politely.

“No sweat, Dude. But I’m serious. Life is too short for the minor chords. Find your joy, Man. Get out in the sun and cut loose.”

Giles tried to remember this youngster wasn’t really trying to hurt him. How could a stranger know what he had gone through? But every word cut like a knife. There was no more joy for him to find, no more sun. No, not for him. Those things aren’t meant for monsters. He stared at his hands and tried to ignore the part of himself that wanted to tear this boy apart and steal the joy from his very blood.

“Wow! Dude, you should be seeing what I am! The waves are doin’ some awesome shit. Man, I need to get me some more of this weed. It’s good shit.”

Giles looked down the boy’s eye line to see that Ethan was in the water entertaining Dawn by creating the shapes of horses, dolphins, and, of course, dragons in the foaming breakers. The stupid bugger. But Dawn’s musical laughter was enough to assuage the majority of his anger towards the sorcerer.

“You really are pale, Dude. Tellin’ ya, sunshine does a body good.”

That was enough. Giles had reached the end of his patience. The kid was high and a little too nosey, and the vampire was in no mood the deal with it. His eyes began to glow yellow in the shadows and his voice held a menacing rumble as he growled, “Go away.”

The boy gave him a confused look. “Wow. I should proly go sit down and wait this stuff out.” Then he simply wandered off.

All of Giles’ muscles remained tense as he tried to control the demon boiling just beneath his skin. Dawn’s laughter cut through the air again. Taunting him from a world he could never enter for the remainder of eternity. He lashed out with his magick and the doors to the van slammed shut, leaving him alone in his darkness once more. It was where monsters belonged.

***

Spike burst through the back door of the Summers’ house and tossed his smoking blanket aside. At the table, Willow let out a yip of surprise and stared at him with wide eyes.

“Spike, what…? Buffy’s not here.”

“Yeah, I know. Came to see you, Red.” He saw the witch crinkle her nose skeptically. In that moment, the vampire decided that telling her he’d been asked to come wasn’t something he was willing to do. “What,” he perched against the island, “Slayer’s the only part of the gang I’m allowed to care about? We went through some times while she was off having her little break, ya know.”

“I thought all we did was cramp your style,” Willow murmured, looking back to her teacup.

“Was frustrated,” Spike dismissed, “and still mostly evil. Give a poor bloke a break. Doesn’t mean I can’t care now.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry. I guess I’m a little testy because I haven’t been sleeping well. Would you like to join me for a cup of tea, Spike?”

“Oh,” he gracefully slid into the chair across from her. “Ya got any hot chocolate? Joyce always used to add those little marshmallows and...” He hesitated at Willow’s frown. “Sorry. She was a good lady. Always treated me nice. Still miss her sometimes.”

“So much death,” the witch whispered sadly. “It’s ok, Spike. I think we all miss her sometimes. You can look in the cupboard. There might be some packets up there.”

The vampire crossed the kitchen and began searching through cabinets. “Been a rough couple years for all of us, huh Red? And you not slackin’ on your share. Slayer dies, you bring her back. Your lover dies, you go off the rails a bit. The Watcher takes care of you, then you have to go an’ see him get snuffed, too. You try to save him, he turns evil, and you fall in love.” He smirked, “Oldest story in the book, really.”

“You forgot the part where I turn him good again and he forever hates me for making him a monster,” Willow sighed.

Spike plopped into his chair again as a bottle of alcohol thudded on the table. “No coco, but I found somethin’ better for us.”

He went to pour some into Willow’s tea, waiting until she grudgingly gave consent. Then he filled a glass for himself and downed a good portion in one large gulp.

After letting out a satisfied hiss, he looked the witch straight in the eyes and said, “Alright, ask me.”

“What?”

“Listen… You love him, he loves you. That much has been established. You love him, so you want to know what he’s going through and help him feel better. He loves you, so he wants to figure things out for himself and not make you feel bad or worried because of him. Therefore, he won’t talk to you until he knows what to say, and you’ll feel bad and worry about him anyway.” The vampire rocked back in his chair. “Way I see it, you’re lucky to have the next best thing right here for ya. Won’t speak for the Watcher, but I’ve been through the whole being turned, being evil, and gettin’ your soul back thing. So here I am, at your disposal. Ask away, Red.”

“You’d do that for me, Spike?”

“Well yeah… And if you don’t trust me to tell the truth, we can always get L.A. Hair Story on the phone. I wouldn’t if you wanna cut through all the brooding, though.”

“No, no… I trust you. I just thought you were still having a hard time with it yourself.”

“Maybe,” he gulped down more of the liquor. “Doesn’t mean I’ll leave a lovely lady in distress.” Spike lifted his glass to her. “So, hit me, Red. What’s got ya down about the Watcher?”

Willow sat in silence for several minutes, staring into her cup. Her first question finally came in a soft whisper. “Did it hurt? Did what we did hurt him?”

Spike wrinkled his forehead. “Ya mean physically? The being turned part?” She nodded. “Well, not gonna sugar-coat it, Red… It’s dying. You would have an idea of that yourself.” He indicated the bandage protecting the scabbed over bite-mark on her neck with his chin. “But, from how you all told me it happened, Watcher was on his way out anyway. By then, all a little bite could do was make the pain go away a bit faster.”

The witch looked into his eyes with pleading. “Did I hurt him?”

He leaned forward, lightly caressing her hand. “You gave him his soul back. A body can’t have a fight like that inside it without feeling something. That demon, Magister, didn’t want to give it over, but Rupert took it back. What you did was give him a chance. If his soul wasn’t willing to fight for it, for you… that’s the only way it would have been painless for him. But he did, and he won. Sure it’s hard right now, but I think that’s one round of pain he’s thankful for.”

Willow blinked a tear loose. “Everything I do hurts the people I love.”

“Not about you right now, Pet,” Spike tossed his lean body back in his chair. “I’m only here to answer the vampire questions.”

“Okay,” she angrily swiped the tear away. “You’re right, no more self-pity. All about Rupert. Yes, I do have a question. Why is he so different? It’s not the soul part, because Magister was different, too. Beside, he’s not like you or Angel.   I don’t remember us ever meeting a vampire like him before. I mean, look at everything he did in so little time. Come to think of it, it’s a good thing other vamps aren’t like him.”

She gazed at Spike expectantly as he tried to sort her question from the babble. “Oh, you mean the faithful followers and the magick and all that. That’s easy,” he stated. “Rupes is different from other vamps.”

“That’s your answer? He’s different because he’s different.” Willow huffed in annoyance drawing a grin from Spike.

“Right. Thing’s this. Ol’ Rupert is what you might describe as a separate breed of vampire. There’s this thing, ya see. Vampires don’t like the taste of magick. When we smell it in the blood, it pretty much repels us. Think about it, Red. Have you ever seen one of us bite a magick user?”

“But…” she bit her lower lip. “Angelus killed Jenny.”

“She was a threat to him… and not with a bite. Poof never touched her blood. Also, we had the Watcher for all that time and none of us ever tasted him… not even Dru. And believe me, I saw that look in her eye. If you ask me, that’s why most Watchers have magick in their systems. What better way to fight a Slayer than to turn her Watcher? This way, best we’d ever do is kill ‘em.”

“Wait,” Willow nearly shouted. “You tried to bite me once! And Karen turned Giles.”

“Did, didn’t I?” he snorted. “But that was back before you saturated yourself with the stuff. What you did have in your blood I was willing to stomach to get to Buffy. If I drank you now I’d probably get sick.”

“Oh… gee thanks.”

Spike laughed. “It’s a good thing, Red. Keep the perspective. And as for the Watcher, his sire was forced.”

“I guess,” she gave a self-conscious smile. Willow fingered her bandage. “But he did bite me.”

“Not only that,” Spike got up and walked around behind the girl. He bent and inhaled deeply close to her neck. “He marked you. I can smell his warning clear as anything.” He reached over her for his glass. “Even without the magick thing, no vamp in his right mind would dare touch you now. Not with a claim that strong on you.”

“Giles claimed me?” Willow murmured with a faraway look.

Spike frowned, but remembered his promise not to lie. “It’s not Rupert’s mark,” he said quietly.

“But Magister is gone.”

“Doesn’t matter.” He had to glance away from her disappointed and horrified look. “But listen… Watcher will come back for you, you’ll see. He’s the one that can erase that claim. I’d wager he’ll put his own claim on you. Any other vamp that want’s to hurt you will have to answer to him. And that would be one plum crazy vampire.”

“If I don’t make him sick…” she muttered.

The vampire lifted her chin to look him in the eye. “Two of a kind, Luv. You’re the same breed. I’d wager you were the sweetest thing he ever tasted. Probably all he can think about even now.”

“You think so? I wish he wasn’t… I’m not worthy of him.”

Spike quirked an eyebrow, surprised at the pronouncement. “Whoever put that bollocks in your head is a vindictive bitch. If you aren’t his match, no one is.” Willow’s head bowed, her eyes filling with tears. “I think now would be a good time for a nap. You look beat, Luv.”

“I haven’t been sleeping very well.”

“Tell ya what. You toddle up to bed, and I’ll hang around down here until the Slayer comes home. Nothing’s gonna bother you while I’m here.”

“Thank you, Spike. For everything.”

The vampire helped her up and carefully escorted her to the foot of the stairs. “You sleep well, Red. It’s about time someone around here did.”

The house was silent and Spike was dozing in a living room chair with the empty bottle dangling from his fingers when Buffy appeared before him. “Just what do you think you’re doing?” She took an annoyed stance with her hands on her hips. “Don’t you remember anything we talked about?”

He looked up at her through cracked eyelids. “What you on about now, Slayer? I came over to look after Red just like you asked me.”

“Oh I did, did I?” she muttered. “Even so, what’s with all the talk about Giles loving Willow and coming back for her?”

“She was blue and I was tryin’ to cheer her up.”

“But we’ve spent all this time discussing what’s really going to happen. He’s too far gone now. The only way to help Willow is to keep her away from him. You know this silly love affair will only end in heartache. Everything he touches, he destroys and Willow doesn’t need that in her life right now.”

“But, Buffy…”

“No buts! What’s best for Willow now is to keep him away from her. He’s a vampire now, and he’ll hurt everyone he loves. He won’t be able to help it.”

“Just like all us vampires,” Spike groaned bitterly.

“You know I’m right, Spike. Giles and Willow don’t belong together. Anything that happens between them can only end in pain.” The vampire nodded drunkenly. “It’s for their own good. And I need your help in this. Can I count on you?” Another jerky nod. “Now, the sun’s setting. You should go before we wake her. She does need her rest to get better.”

“Sure, Slayer.” He stood and headed for the back door. “I’ll be in my crypt if you need me.” 

“And thanks for coming, Spike.”

He shook his head sadly and left through the back door. The next moment the front door opened and Buffy walked in.

“Spike…? Willow…? Anyone home?” she called and was met with silence. “Huh, maybe he got her to actually go to sleep.” The Slayer crept up the stairs to check on her best friend.

***

Dawn’s eyes sprang open at the click of the motel room door. She sat upright, trying to focus through the late night darkness. “Giles?” she whispered.

“It’s all right, Luv,” Ethan’s voice drifted softly across the room. “He’s gone.”

“Gone where?”

“I couldn’t say.” Dawn started to hurry out of bed, but he quickly added. “Let him go, Luv.”

“But what’s he doing?”

“Same as every night, I suppose.”

“Every night? He always does this?”

The sorcerer sat up to face her. “Every night. His sleep charm usually works better on you, though. He goes off into the blackness, and returns before we wake.”

“What is he doing?” the girl frowned.

“That, I cannot say. The night is his time now. He’s a creature of the darkness and we must leave him to it.”

“This is my fault. I think I made a mistake leaving him behind while we went to play on the beach. He was all shut up when we got back, and he hasn’t said much since.”

Ethan crossed the gap to sit with her and put an arm around her. “I don’t think it was wrong to want to remind him of the world that’s still out there. However, we must remember that it’s also a world that no longer welcomes him. His world is the one that’s outside right now.”

“Do you think we’ll ever find a way to let him walk in the sunshine again?”

“Many have tried. Although, it is often the dark forces that crave bringing the vampires out to plague the day as well as the night. But, if a good heart can bring such a thing about for a noble cause, I believe you’d be the one to find the answer.”

Dawn hugged him, burying her tears in his chest. “Thanks. I just hope he’s okay out there.”


	4. Vampire’s Night

**Chapter 4 - Vampire’s Night**

The damp asphalt had a slight glimmer to it under the harsh, white street lights. A thin fog was rolling in, likely forced up a valley from the coast. Giles knew they must have driven inland at some point that day. Even his enhanced sense of smell was only catching the odd hint of ocean on the breeze. The main street he was walking down was empty, except for a single car hurrying though. He could tell that it must be a pretty, little town in the daylight hours. But, at this hour, stalking time for his kind, it was cold, uninviting, and dead.

The noises of an open bar drifted to him from a side street and he followed. He met the usual cliental as he approached the entrance. Drunks who had wandered out but had nowhere else to go, lonely people on their way to another one night stand, and the ladies of the night trying to earn enough money to keep them going.

“Hey, handsome… Looking for some fun?” one of them cooed the usual greeting.

Giles hunched his shoulders, hiding deeper in his coat. “Not tonight, thank you,” he muttered.

“Wow, polite and sounding like that… Might be willing to give this one a discount,” another one sidled up to him and purred.

“Believe me, Ladies, you don’t want anything to do with--”

“Maybe he thinks we can’t handle him.” The third voice was oddly sweet with a familiar timber that brought his eyes up to see the woman who now swayed in front of him. He stood frozen, transfixed by the light that gleamed off of her copper hair. In reality, she didn’t look much like Willow, but at that moment, in his eyes, the girl that never left his mind was there.

It wasn’t long before he had this redheaded stranger pressed against the brick wall of an empty alleyway.

“Calm down, Baby. I’ll take care of what you need.”

“It’s time. I’m tired of waiting for you,” Giles rumbled. His hands were working to hike her short skirt up to give him access.

“No waiting, Baby,” she was working to open his already straining fly. “Tell me what you want.”

He pressed harder against her. “Ask me to show you the face you could love,” Giles growled the order.

A look of confusion crossed the woman’s face, but she shrugged. After all, it wasn’t the weirdest thing she’d ever been asked to do. She put on a sexy voice, “Show me the face I could love.”

Then he was still, staring into her eyes from mere inches away. His hand was gentle as it took hers and brought it up to place it on his cheek. She let him lay it along his cold face, trying to let him do whatever made him happy.

“Tell me you’re sorry for turning me into this.”

Her eyes narrowed a bit more. Was this guy for real? It was the strangest role-play she’d ever participated in. But she sighed, “I’m sorry for turning you into this.”

He ducked his head to her left as he lifted her into position and she slid easily into place. The redhead relaxed against him, hooking her long legs around his hips. This was the part she was used to. But he was strong enough to hold her weight and was generous with his technique. He even had enough to him to hit all the good spots, which surprised her considering how chilly he felt. This was certainly not the worst John she’d ever dealt with.

“I need you, Willow,” he breathed into her ear.

Giles felt the pressure rising in his loins. He needed release. But the hunger, the hunger was too strong. His face changed as his lips brushed against her neck, feeling the blood rushing through the artery, teasing him. His sharp fangs danced at the ready, waiting the claim their prize. The monster in him roared.

“What are you waiting for?” Justin leaned casually on the wall beside them. “You know it’s what you need. You can stand there and fuck the bitch all night, but without tasting her you’ll never get anywhere.” His protégé leaned in close. “Take her. All of her. Who’s going to miss a dirty whore?”

Giles cried out, stepping back and dropping the redhead unceremoniously to the ground.

“What’s going on? What’s wrong with you?”

The vampire kept his face turned away from her and he dug all the money out of his pocket and threw it into her lap. “Go,” he ordered.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but no one treats me like--”

He spun sharply, showing her the monster. “Run away, now!”

With a scream, she grabbed the money, scrambled to her feet, and made her way unsteadily, but quickly, down the alley.

“Aww. Why did you go and do that?” Justin asked in disappointment.

Giles threw himself around, punching the wall where they had just been. His fist slammed into the brick and mortar, causing some to chip and fall away. He reared back and hit it again and again, grinding the fresh powder into his broken knuckles. After he had formed a large divot in the wall, he sank to his knees, pressing his forehead into the rough surface.

Justin crouched down beside him. “So this is what you’ve become, a child throwing a tantrum. A scared little boy hiding from what he is, cowering from everything he feels. This is what a soul has reduced my master to.”

Giles turned to sit with his back to the wall. “I’m not your master,” he breathed with a shaky voice.

“No. My master stood strong and took all he wanted from this world. He loved freely, fed freely, and killed freely.” The young vampire pulled the neck of his shirt aside. “I’m proud to bear his mark. That I lost him to the likes of you disgusts me.”

“Justin, you were killed by a monster. And I am sorry for that. But I am not a murderer.”

“You’re not?” Another voice came from the darkness across the alleyway. “What was my crime when you took my life? You were still human, still had that soul you claim makes so you different from the demon. Was I evil when you murdered me?”

Giles looked up to see Ben walking toward him. He shook his head as he scrambled to his feet and tried to move away. “Y-you must understand, I did what was necessary. Glory had to be stopped.”

“So you took my innocent life. The last thing I ever saw was your cool, calculating eyes staring down at me with no mercy.” Ben began to turn blue, the capillaries in his eyes and nose hemorrhaging as Giles watched. “I was going to be a doctor. All I wanted to do was help people. I saved your life!”

Ben disappeared as a child’s laughter spun the vampire around to search down the dark alley. The laughter rang out again, but the source kept itself hidden. “Ring around the rosy…” the little girl’s voice echoed around him.

“Robyn?”

“Pocket full of poesies…” it seemed to come from everywhere at once.

“Please… I didn’t mean for any of it to happen.”

“Ashes, ashes…”

“I’m so sorry for what happened to you. Please, Robyn?”

The pretty, little blonde stood in front of him, her voice becoming something dark and ugly. “We all fall down.” She turned to ash and crumbled away before he could even move.

Giles fell to his knees, hunched over with his face in his hands. He wept for several minutes until a new voice came from above him. This one sounded sympathetic when it sighed, “Oh, Rupert…”

The vampire’s eyes shot up to the beautiful face. “Jenny?”

“Look what you’re doing to yourself. You don’t deserve this. You’re a good man, my love.”

He slumped over to sit on the pavement, knowing better than to reach for her and dispel the perfect vision. “I’ve tried so hard. I don’t know if there is anything good left to me.”

She smiled. “You keep fighting, but you don’t have to. It’s done now. It’s your turn to rest.”

“I can’t. Not yet, not when all the people I care about are still in danger.”

“Oh, you mean the ones who did this to you, who were too selfish to think about what was best for you for a change? Why should you keep suffering for them?”

“They only did what they thought best, Jenny. They are young and scared.”

The vision threw her hands up, “And now he’s defending them. Your fight was over, Sweetie. You were supposed to be with me.”

Giles lowered his gaze and mumbled sadly, “But you don’t need me. They still do.”

“Or do you mean Willow does?” Her face was accusing when he looked back up at the sharp question.

“Jenny, you’ve been dead a very long time,” he said carefully. “Willow has been through so much in the past few years. We both have.”

“And so now you’re in love with the doe-eyed, little innocent…”

He slowly got to his feet. “I loved you, and what we had could have grown into something special given the chance. But all of that was stolen from us, and we can never get it back. As long as I’m on this Earth I must follow my heart. Right now it’s leading me to Willow. I’m sorry if you find that unacceptable.”

“Oh, I get it,” the ghost nodded. “I always liked Willow. She reminds me a lot of me. I get what you see in her. I’m just a little worried about her. What has she done to deserve such a fate?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, come on, Rupert…   It’s not like your love has ever really been a benefit to anyone.” She gave a pout as pain overshadowed his face. 

“I… I…”

“I mean, our short romance didn’t have the smoothest sailing. And then after all that trouble, what did we have?”

“I never meant to hurt you,” the vampire whispered lamely.

“You never mean to hurt anybody, do you? But it never stops, Rupert.” At that her face changed before his eyes. In a moment he was dumbstruck as he stared at…

Diedre, “I loved you. Now I’m dead.”

Randall, “Best friends, mate. Dead.”

Buffy, “A father’s love. Twice dead.”

Joyce, “One night. Dead.”

Tara, “You were the one man I knew I could trust. Dead.”

His mother, “Why are you crying, Darling?” She reached out but didn’t touch him. “I loved you… even when you broke my heart and I died.”

And then Jenny returned. “Should I go on?”

“No,” Giles whimpered. “Please don’t.”

“I’m not trying to hurt you, Sweetie. Just make you think. Are you really what Willow needs? What can you offer her that’s different from all the rest of us?”

“I think I need her,” his statement was nearly inaudible.

Jenny shook her head slowly. “Rupert, you’re big enough to know the difference between need and want.”

Giles opened his mouth in near defeat, but his final protest died on his lips. Instead, a scream rang out, piercing through the silent night.

“Oh my,” Jenny rolled her eyes. “There goes another one. And you didn’t even have to love her, just your touch was enough…”

Before she finished, Giles was on the move, flying down the alley in the direction the redhead had gone. He rounded a corner to find her in the clutches of two robed men. 

“Let go of me you freaks!” she cried.

Giles ran at them, tackling everyone to the ground. He managed to pull her up from the tangle of limbs. Her first look of relief was soon turned into fear as she recognized him as the original freak of the night. He pushed her on, his face again contorting into the demon and yelled, “Run! Don’t stop until you’re home.”

When he turned to face the attackers, he was surprised to see that they had no eyes, only strange symbols carved into their faces. This didn’t stop them from pulling out long daggers and coming at him. He ducked and dodged, throwing them off again and again, but they were fast, strong, and committed. One of them managed to slice into his gut and Giles howled at the pain. Grabbing the enemy by the head, he jerked it sharply and heard the satisfying snap of a neck.

The other lunged at him and Giles threw himself full force into this fight. All of his rage, all of his frustration, all of his guilt and confusion he released on the priest. Tearing at him, pounding into him, not even heeding the few times the knife hit its mark. It was an overwhelming onslaught, but the vampire never realized when his foe had stopped resisting, stopped moving. By the time Giles had come back to his senses, he was still slamming his fists into a gooey puddle on the ground that had once been the robed man’s head.

The voice in his ear was very pleased. “This is what you are. Why fight it? All you have to do is ask, and I’ll gladly take the pain and uncertainty from you. Join me and I’ll make you into what you were meant to be.”

Giles slowly got to his feet and began to numbly stumble away from the carnage. He slid his fingers inside his coat and pulled out a rumpled, unopened envelope. His name scrolled lovingly across the front in Willow’s delicate script. The blood on his hands soaked through it as he crumpled it up and tossed it aside.

***

“Are you listening to me, Spike?”

The blonde vampire jerked in his chair, dropping an empty whiskey bottle. He slowly sat up and lit a cigarette. “Tryin’ my damnedest not to,” he drawled. “Why the hell are you here anyway? Left for the girl’s own good… New life in L.A… An’ all that rot. Not that I’m complaining.”

Angel rolled his eyes. “I’m here because I still care about these people. I thought you did, too.”

Spike glared up at him. “I care enough to be here. To help ‘em out even when I know I’m not wanted.”

“Right. And we know things they can’t understand. We’ve done things they can’t even imagine. It’s up to us to keep them from getting more hurt than they have to.”

“You’re talkin’ ‘bout the Watcher, aren’t you,” Spike sighed.

“You and I are the only ones who know what he’s going through. We’ve been through it. The confusion, the fear, the rage… No matter how tight a lid he might think he has on it when he comes back, one day it’s all going to overwhelm him, and the people he cares about will be the ones getting hurt. This is for his good, too. You saw how guilty he felt when he wasn’t even in control. Think of what it will do to him when he is.”

“So, if he’s so dangerous, why were we all fine sendin’ the Nibblet off with him?”

Angel sighed, “Dawn’s different. We know he won’t hurt her. She’s just a kid. Anyway, that other guy went to keep an eye on her.”

“You mean the one nobody here trusts as far as they can toss him?” Spike chuckled. “Yeah, he’ll be the one to stand between her and a raging vamp. Bloody jackass,” he added in a mutter.

“Just… Forget about Ethan freakin’ Rayne! We both know that the girl can’t do anything to set Giles off like that. But, when he gets back here… When he sees Willow again… Humans think we don’t love like they do, that it’s all lust and blood for vampires. And, to some extent, they’re right. That’s what the demon is after. But we both know there’s more to it. We let them think they feel deeper and love fiercer… The truth is, they couldn’t handle the way we love. The way Giles is learning he’ll love from now on. It’s deep, and it’s primal, and it’s dangerous.”

“Watcher’s strong. He’ll be able to take it.”

“But can Willow?” Angel frowned. “She’s still so young. She’s still trying to figure out how relationships work. What if he does something she can’t forgive him for? What if she finds out that she doesn’t really want a dead man? What if, sometime in the future, she rejects him? Do you think he’ll be able to walk away? Or will he react more like you did when Buffy said ‘no’?”

Spike stood up, grabbed an empty bottle, and threw it at the other vampire. It crashed against the far wall. He blinked in confusion. Spike may have been drunk, but he knew when he was on target, and Angel couldn’t have moved that fast. However, his anger was already shooting words from his mouth. “I was not the man I am when that happened. I went and won my soul back for the girl. And still I have to try harder every day to be what she deserves. At least I’m here and I’m not running away.” He stalked forward, driving Angel back. “And as for the Watcher. He was a better man than either of us could have ever claimed to be. Yes, he’s one of us now. The walking damned who can’t hope to do enough good to make our existence right. But he came from a good man, and that foundation is still in him. I’ll be here watching when he comes back. I’ll decide what needs doing to keep these people from hurting each other.    You can go back where you belong and do whatever it is you’re supposed be doing.”

Spike stumbled and fell, passed out drunk on the floor. At the same time, Angel vanished.

***

Buffy shut the door quietly after coming in from patrol. She went to the couch and shook Xander gently. 

“Hey, Buff,” he blinked up at her groggily. “What’s goin’ on in freak town?”

“Not much,” she smiled as he sat up. “Actually, it’s almost too quiet these days. Makes me on edge, like something bad’s coming.”

“Well, if the next Big Bad does show its face around here, it’ll have to deal with us. And I’ll put my money on us every time.”

Buffy smiled at him. “Thanks for staying with Willow while I was out. Everything good?”

Xander sighed. “There was one nightmare right after you left. But a cup of tea and some best friend goofing around soon put the smile back on her face.” He looked at his watch. “We just finished a movie about an hour ago. She took one of those sleeping pills, so she should be out ‘til morning.”

“That sounds good. As long as it’s just nightmares, we can handle that.”

“Do you really think something got in here just to mess with Willow’s head?”

“We can never be too careful in this town. And you didn’t see how freaked out she was the other night. Sometimes I even think I can hear her talking to someone. But she won’t tell me, she just cries.”

Xander took her hand. “I’m here, whatever you need.”

“Thanks.”

“Have you heard from Dawn and Giles?”

Buffy smiled sadly. “Dawn calls every day. She’s excited about everything they’re seeing, but she’s also worried about Giles. He seems to be withdrawing more and more all the time. He’s still pissed at me, which I get, but he won’t even talk to Willow. I’m scared.   Maybe we’ll never get him back.”

“G-man will be okay. If something is at all possible, he can do it. We just need to be patient while he sorts himself out. You watch, he’ll be standing right there, giving us a lecture in no time.”

“Thank you, Xan,” Buffy pulled him up. “I know you have work in the morning. You’d better get home and get some sleep. Thanks again for the Willow watching.”

Xander hugged her tightly. “No prob. My favorite pastime. And I’m serious… You guys call whenever you need anything.”


	5. Must Be Tuesday

**Chapter 5 - Must Be Tuesday**

“I said Oakhurst,” Dawn raised her voice against the mouthpiece of her phone. “No, Buffy… It’s a little town just a few miles outside the entrance to Yosemite Park. We went there today and it was so pretty, one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever seen. Oh, and the mountains around the valley were tall enough that the sun went behind them long before it got dark. Giles was able to get out and look around with us, and we all walked up to this waterfall, and…” She looked up to grin at the man in question, but all she saw was his back through the closing door. As it clicked shut, the girl’s cheery façade crumbled and she began to weep. “I don’t know what to do anymore. He won’t talk, and he’ll barely even look at me. He’s so unhappy, and it’s all our fault. How could we be evil enough to do this to Giles?”

She stopped to listen, trying to control her sobs.

“Yes, it is my fault! I’m the one that kept him here. I’m the one that locked him in this hell. He’s only here because of me.”

More reassurance was coming over the phone, but Dawn continued to crumble in on herself, curling into a tight ball on the motel bed. Ethan gently slipped the phone from her trembling hand.

“Slayer? Yes, Buffy… you can stop now. I know. If you don’t mind, distant words don’t seem to be helping much. Would you give me a few moments to calm young Dawn? We will ring back soon… for better or worse… Yes,” he smiled, “ice cream. I’ll keep that in mind.”

The sorcerer sat gracefully against the headboard, and Dawn was quickly clutching his shirt, her face buried in his chest. He held her lightly, waiting for her breathing to quiet. As he did, Ethan had time to think about the situation he now found himself in. It was something of a novelty to him. Comforting a young lady, holding her close to him, yet with no ulterior motive. He wasn’t trying to use her for any immediate purpose of his own, and, contrary to what Ripper believed of him, this lovely girl was safe from his sexual advances. Well… except for some harmless flirting. That was just fun. In truth, he held her now with no real gain for himself. The thought frightened him. These were not the actions of Ethan Rayne, a man who would always be out for himself first. What was he doing there? What were these people turning him into? The chaos mage suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to run.

But then she turned her shining, red-rimmed eyes up to him. Trusting him. Needing him. And all urges except for the one to stop her tears faded from his mind. Ethan was trapped… and yet, he smiled.

“None of it’s true, you know,” he whispered gently. “Rupert loves you, dear girl. He loves you so much I’m almost jealous. I’d wager you represent the brightest spot in his world right now.”

“Then why won’t he say anything to me? Why do I always feel like I’m making things worse?”

Ethan chuckled lightly. “Because you care too much for your own good.” He pulled a tissue from the bedside table and dried her face. “Never stop, Luv. There are things on Ripper’s mind right now, dark things that I’d suspect he wants to protect you from. But you’re a rope, a lifeline for him. I know you don’t notice, but every time you reach out to him, he brightens just a bit. I see it when he looks at you. He remembers what he’s fighting for.”

“You really think so?” Dawn sniffled.

“Beautiful goddess, you have managed to wrap a self-proclaimed rapscallion around your delicate finger. How could a mere vampire even hope to have a chance against your charms?”

At that she giggled through her tears. “You’re silly. And thank you, Ethan. For me… but mostly for him. I know this stuff isn’t what your life is really like. But I’m glad you stayed. I don’t know what we’d do without you.”

“Well, for one, you wouldn’t get very far. What with you not driving yet, and Ripper’s aversion to sunlight…” Dawn laughed and slapped his chest playfully. “On the phone, your sister suggested I try taking you for ice cream. I’m starting to think it’s a splendid idea.”

“I concur,” the girl nodded. “But I’d better call Buffy back first. She’ll be worried.”

***

Giles turned slightly at the tap on his shoulder, only for his jaw to collide with Ethan’s right hook. He could feel the scattered patrons of the bar tense, preparing to get out of the way when this fight broke out. But they could relax. Giles sighed, “Would you like a drink, Ethan?”

His old friend sat on the next stool. “Scotch rocks,” he grunted to the bartender. When the drink came, he downed the liquid quickly and pressed the glass full of ice to his knuckles. “I’ll never understand why you enjoy doing that so much, Ripper. Hurts like balls.”

Giles snorted, bringing his glass to his lips as he stared straight ahead. “Was worth it knowing it hurt you more." He waited a moment as Ethan ordered another drink. “I’m guessing that was on Dawn’s behalf?”

The sorcerer set his glass down hard. “That sweet girl is worrying herself sick over you. I am tired of listening to her cry herself to sleep because you’re being such a bloody pillock.”

“And now I’m getting lectured on my treatment of a lady by Ethan bloody Rayne,” Giles chuckled mirthlessly. “The world really has gone to hell.”

Ethan’s agitation grew as the target of his anger remained perfectly still, never looking over, his only movements to bring more alcohol efficiently to his lips. He followed the vampire’s eye-line and noticed that Giles was staring into the mirror behind the bar. A mirror that reflected nothing of the vampire’s existence. “She’s blaming herself. She keeps having to watch you pull away, wallow in your own self-pity. Why are you putting her through this?”

“Since when did you start caring?” Giles muttered.

“About the time you stopped,” Ethan retorted without skipping a beat.

“You don’t understand…”

“What it’s like to be apart from the world? What it’s like to not be trusted or wanted? What it’s like when everyone would be better off without you, when no one cares? Oh, believe me, Ripper, there is a bad man here, and you don’t even have the qualifications.” The vampire sat in silence. “The problem is, unlike me, you are not alone in the world. The more you run away, the more you hurt the people around you.”

“I don’t belong with them anymore.”

“Why? Because they walk in the light? Because they’re heroes? Oh, but you and I both know you gave up that title long ago. You have always been there to do what they could not. To get your hands dirty so theirs can remain pristine. Nothing has cha--”

“Ethan, I can’t control it. If I go back, I’ll only end up…”

“Dripping in more blood?” The vampire’s shoulders tensed at the piercing question. “Do you really think you’ve been hiding it these last several nights? I’ve been making sure to get up before Dawn every morning, just so I can be in the restroom first. To make sure the blood is rinsed out of the sink. To make sure your ruined clothes are properly disposed of. Sometimes I think you want her to find it, just so she’ll see you as the creature you think you are.”

“Everyone would be safer if they did.”

“Coward!” Ethan growled. “You are nothing but a bloody coward. Do you even know how many people in this bloody world long for what you have? What you’re trying to push away? You are loved, you bastard. A sweet, little girl sheds tears for you. A Slayer went against everything she knew for you. All those bloody children cling to you like they’d be lost without you. And then there’s your little witch. After everything, she still loves you. She wants you, Rupert, in all your dysfunction, though I can’t imagine what she sees.”

Giles smirked. “Yes you can,” he sneered unkindly.

Ethan stood. “Fine. If nothing but a sorry drunk is all you want to be for eternity, so be it. I’m done trying. And I’ve changed my mind. If you do decide you can’t stop hurting Dawn, just inform me, and I’ll have a stake at the ready.”

In the blink of an eye, Giles had Ethan by the front of his shirt. “You think this is easy?” he barked. “You want to come in here and tell me to do what, snap out of it? We are nothing alike, Ethan. You hide in a corner while all the damage and pain you cause happens somewhere else. I feel every bone break, the blood flows through my fingers. I lose myself for a moment and someone ends up dead. I hurt enough people while I was alive. I will not have those I care for subjected to a monster!”

Giles’ head cocked, his concentration suddenly far way. Ethan knew that look, Giles had heard something. And from the desperate fear in his eyes, there was only one thing it could be. Dawn. The vampire was swiftly on the move with the sorcerer hot on his heels.

***

“Hey, babe. A little past your bedtime, isn’t it.” The young male voice came from a dark corner of the bar’s parking lot. It was accompanied by laughter and cat calls.

“Oh, no…” Dawn tried to shy away. “I-I’m meeting some friends here. They’ll be expecting me.”

Her forward progress was halted as four young men surrounded her. “Why don’t we keep you company until your friends get here? We like to party.”

“I shouldn’t,” she backed away from one only to run into another. “You see, I-I have a boyfriend… A big, jealous one. And if he sees me with other guys, people tend to get hurt.”

“Oh, a jealous boyfriend, huh?” They were herding her back into their corner. “Well, if he shows up to spoil our fun, I think we can handle him.”

“No! Don’t touch me!” Dawn screamed when the apparent leader grabbed her by the arms.

“Come on. Just relax, beautiful. We’re just gonna show you a good time.” His breath was hot as he whispered in her ear. “I bet you’re the type that’ll like it.”

“I’m not.” Dawn struggled in his grasp as another man pressed up behind her. The two others looked on and laughed.

She was sandwiched between them, their grubby hands searching for openings when she looked up to see Giles. The Watcher stood deadly still with Ethan at his shoulder. Both men had the most dangerous looks she’d ever seen on their stony faces.

“Giles, I didn’t mean to… I woke up alone and needed to know where you go all the time.” But the dangerous looks weren’t directed at her. What she saw put a cold lump in her stomach.

“What is this?” The gang had noticed them. “I thought you said he was a boyfriend,” the boy laughed. “I feel like I’m in an episode of ‘my two granddads’.” They began to surround her, standing between her and her friends.

But, at this point, these blustering boys were not Dawn’s biggest concern. “Please, let me go and I’ll take them away. No one will get hurt,” she tried to reason with them. There was no way they could understand, so she called out to the vampire. “Giles, they’re stupid kids. They haven’t hurt me yet.   You don’t want to do something you’re going to regret later. I don’t want to see you go through that.”

“It’s all right, Dawn,” Giles’ voice was low and steady. “No one is going to touch you.”

“And what are you gonna do about it?”

“Ethan,” the girl tried again. “They’re human. You have to stop him.”

“I’m sorry, my dear. Right now I’m using all my restraint on myself.”

“You have to the count of one,” Giles growled at the gang.

“Oh yeah?” The boy made the mistake of pulling out a knife and bringing it near Dawn. “Or what?”

On the Watcher’s nod, she brought her foot down hard on the leader’s instep and threw her elbow into the solar plexus of the large man behind her. Launching herself out of the surprised group, she landed hard on the ground a couple feet in front of them. Ethan was there to help her to safety as Giles flew headlong into the gang.

Dawn panted from fear and exertion as they ducked behind a parked car. “Aren’t you going to help him?”

Ethan looked up at the broiling mass of muscle and testosterone. Shaking his head, he answered, “I think Ripper needs this one more than I do.”

Giles backhanded and sent one boy flying. The gang was surprised, first that this one man dared challenge them, and more so when they realized he was a match for all four of them. They came at him together, punching and kicking wildly, trying to knock him to the ground and regain the advantage. But Giles was an immovable column of fury. One boy slammed hard against the stone wall of the building. It was all he could do to get to his feet and run for it. The biggest one came up behind Giles with a block and smashed it over the vampire’s head. He gaped in stunned silence when his target didn’t even stumble, too much in shock to escape the elbow that knocked him cold. The third decided he had made the wrong friends and took off into the darkness.

The leader was now alone, but he was bouncing on the balls of his feet and tossing his knife from hand to hand in false bravado. Giles circled him slowly, like a cat playing with a stupidly confident mouse. When he pounced, forcing the boy to his back on the cold ground, both looked down between them to see the knife sticking out of Giles’ flesh. The vampire met his eyes with a feral grin and shook his head slowly. For the first time, his prey’s face twisted with fear. A yellow glow grew in the vampire’s eyes.

“Giles, no,” Dawn called, “He’s human. And he’s not worth it.”

The vampire glanced up at the on-looking pair with a dark smile. He then retuned his full attention to the young man in his grasp. “It seems you need lessons in the treatment of women,” his voice was a low growl. “If you ever threaten a lady again, I’ll know.” He let his face shift to reveal the demon within. “And the boogie man will come back to get you.” His prey struggled in terror for a few moments before the Watcher released him. Once loose, the boy ran screaming into the night.

Giles stood to watch him go, then turned, still in game face. “What kind of stupid, irresponsible git leaves a child asleep in a motel without as much as a sleep charm or even a note?” he roared at Ethan.

Dawn ran forward and threw her arms around him, paying no heed to his bluster. The sorcerer smirked, “I’m supposed to be irresponsible, remember? You’re the one who left an innocent, young girl in a bedroom with the likes of me.”

“Giles, you did it,” Dawn drew his attention and the demon receded almost immediately upon looking into her eyes.

“I did what?”

“You dispatched a group of reprobates that was threatening someone you care about,” Ethan clarified. “All the while keeping perfect control as you did no more damage than required. Leaving only a few bruises, and one slightly damaged psyche. Which, if I may add my humble opinion, was an inspired touch.”

“You’re a hero, Giles.” Dawn hugged him again. “You’re my hero.”

“Still think they would be better off without you?” Ethan murmured.

Giles looked down at the girl as she let him go. He noticed a ragged gash along the heel of her hand. “You’re hurt,” he held her arm gently.

“I scraped it when I hit the ground,” Dawn explained. “I’ll be okay.”

“Here,” he led her towards the bar. “Let’s go get you cleaned up.”

***

The two men kept their young charge protectively between them as they bustled her into the bar and to a quiet table in the corner. Dawn might have been annoyed, if she didn’t think they were acting so cute. Her hand was being thoroughly inspected by Giles when the rather large and intimidating woman who had been tending bar walked over.

“You boys know I can get in trouble for having a minor in here at this time of night?”

Ethan flashed his most charming smile. “We don’t mean to cause you any grief, madam. If we could only have a few minutes to tend to the young lady, we’ll be out of your way in no time.”

“Some warm water and a clean towel will do if you have it,” Giles added without looking up. But the soft tenor in his voice and his obvious concern for the young girl erased any rudeness in his distraction.

The woman called over her shoulder, “Hey, Tony! Bring out the first aid kit, will ya? And some warm water.”

“Your kindness becomes you, my dear,” Ethan purred.

“Yeah, I’m a sucker for cute little families. Just as long as you two are finished with that little lover’s tiff you were havin’ earlier. My regulars like some peace and quiet.”

Dawn giggled as Giles shook his head in resignation and sighed, “Why does everyone always…?”

“I assure you,” Ethan grinned. “The issue has become moot. And, please feel free to add any damage we may have inadvertently done to our tab from previously. Sorry for running out like that, but when the little ones are in trouble…”

“The kids always put what’s important in perspective, don’t they?” the woman smiled as Giles began tending Dawn’s wound with the newly arrived medical supplies. “You’re lucky your dads take such good care of you, young lady.”

Dawn’s smile was radiant. “I know I am.”

“So what happened?”

“She encountered a group of ruffians in your parking lot. They were threatening her with some very unpleasant behavior,” Ethan explained. “Fortunately, Rupert here was able to run them off with little fuss.”

“Damn it, those little jackasses. I know the punks you’re talking about. Been hanging out around here, giving my patrons grief. They’re trying to make people think they’re all tough, make a name. And the cops can’t do any more than kick ‘em off the property every now and then because they’re too chicken shit to do anything really serious. If you boys managed to run them off for a few days, I’m in your debt.”

“Well, I dare say they were threatening Dawn very seriously. But Rupert gave them a thrashing they won’t soon forget.”

“I hope so. Someone has to beat the fear of God into those blockheads.” She sighed and turned back to Dawn. “I’m sorry they scared you, Hun. My cook closed up the kitchen hours ago, but I could probably dig up a sandwich or somethin’ if you’re hungry.”

Dawn smiled sweetly. “I really don’t want to be any trouble, but I am a teenager so, always hungry.”

“No trouble at all, Doll.” She winked at Ethan. “Got a sweetheart there. You boys must be so proud.” With that, she headed back to the bar.

Dawn couldn’t contain her laughter at the sneer that curled on Giles’ lips as he muttered to himself. “At least she didn’t think you were ‘my two granddads’,” she pointed out. He looked up into her sparkling eyes and laughed, too.

***

Finally, Giles was smiling and laughing, and Dawn thought she just might be in heaven. The bar’s owner sorrowfully asked them to leave after she had closed up and cleaned for the night. However, she made it clear that the two charming gentlemen and their lovely girl were always welcome back. Ethan insisted on settling their bill as his companions prepared to move on.

They’d left the bar and were heading toward the empty street when a dark figure stepped into their path. It was the leader from the gang that had accosted Dawn. His eyes were wide to the point of madness and the streetlight glinted off the barrel of a shotgun he held as he cried out, “Monster. It’s a monster!”

Giles step forward, sweeping Dawn and Ethan safely behind him just as the gun went off. He took the full force of the 12 gauge blast square in the chest and it knocked him backwards to the ground.

Ethan strode forward, his hand outstretched and his eyes glowing dangerously. “Volcano clamavi ira. Ignis Deus. Dominus perditionem. Da mihi ultionem tuam!” The metal of the shotgun began to glow red hot, forcing the boy to drop it. Ethan was on him, their noses barely an inch apart as he growled lowly at the man beneath him. “Monsters exist in many forms. They come out in the way hearts seek entertainment and the way tools are chosen and misused. Look at the tool you have chosen.” He forced his enemy to stare at the puddle of melted goo on the ground. “You have shown me your heart tonight and so I choose to destroy the monster. You are cursed, my boy. You know my power is true and so I curse you. If you ever act on a thought of violence to those around you again, your brain will be as your tool is now. The last thing you feel will be that organ you do not use dribbling out of your ears. Now run home, before a less generous monster than I finds you tonight.”

As soon as Ethan let go, the boy scrambled to his feet and ran for his life.

“Ethan,” Dawn cried. “Help me!”

He went to where she knelt beside Giles. The vampire was unconscious, his chest gruesomely gaping open with a hole the size of Ethan’s fist.

“Help me get him up,” he crouched to lift the heavier man. “We need to get him to safety before we draw any more attention.”

Dawn pressed under Giles arm, trying to help with all the strength she had. As they began slowly moving as one, she cautiously asked, “Did you really curse that guy?”

The sorcerer didn’t quite meet her eyes when he answered, “He believes I did. That’s good enough.”

***

His blood oozed thick and dark. Ethan brought more towels to the bed and ripped Giles’ ruined shirt completely open. As Dawn tried to tend to the gunshot wound, she scanned the rest of his torso. There were cuts and punctures all over him.

“What has he been doing to himself?” she turned frightened eyes up to Ethan.

“Damned self-destructive son of a…” the sorcerer muttered. “I’m not sure, Luv. But the way he looked at you tonight, I am sure it’s at an end now. I believe we finally got through to him before…”

Dawn looked down at Giles’ deathly still face as her tears began to leak out. “It happened again. Last time he stood in front of a blow meant for me, it killed him. And now he saved me again and…”

“Don’t let his appearance right now fool you. We both know his body is already technically dead. But he is not. He’ll start to heal before you know it. You’ll see.”

“I keep telling myself that. It’s just so hard to see him lying there, wounded, and cold, and so still. He needs to be all right, Ethan. I need him to be all right.”

“He will be.” Ethan coxed her away from the heart-rending sight and laid her down on the other bed. He settled next to her and wrapped his comforting arms around her. “You’ll see. By the time morning comes, he’ll be standing just there lecturing me on how inappropriate it is for me to fall asleep with you in my arms like this.” 

Even with the reassurances, Dawn cried herself to sleep. Ethan never found rest that night.

***

The morning brought no joy with it. “Why won’t he wake up? Why isn’t he healing already?” Now it was anger and fear that colored the girl’s voice.

“I… I don’t--”

“You can help him!” she cried in hopeful desperation. “You can do some kind of magick or something.”

“Dawn,” he kept a calm tone. “What do you think is making his body work now? His entire physiology is mystical. Any more I could summon up would be pointless.”

“But there has to be some way… Blood! He needs blood, of course. Like Spike said when he pulled the arrow out. It’s the blood that will help him heal.”

“The cooler Angel gave him is still in the van. I’ll be right back.” Ethan sprang from the room, secretly feeling nearly as frantic as Dawn. There was a dark scowl on his face when he returned and showed her the empty box.

“Did he already drink it all?”

“No,” Ethan growled. “It’s dry and warm. I’m betting he threw it all out when we weren’t watching. The stupid git has been starving himself. Rupert and his bloody martyr complex.” He tossed the cooler angrily aside.

Dawn crossed the room and dug into one of the bags. Finding what she needed, she strode back purposefully. She smoothly unsheathed a dagger and brought the sharp blade to her arm. Ethan caught her hand before she could cut.

“What are you doing?” Dawn yelled as he wrenched the knife from her hand. “He needs blood!”

“Not yours!” Ethan replied just as forcefully.

“I’m gonna give him what he needs. It’s my choice and I don’t care if you like it or not.”

Her attitude was wearing on the older man. “Oh, you could bleed yourself silly for all I care, little girl. But first you’ll think about him.” He pointed at Giles with the dagger. “The man has been beating himself to death with guilt over the blood he’s already taken. What will happen when he wakes up knowing the taste of your blood as well?”

Dawn deflated in fear and shame. “But we need to help him,” she whispered desperately.

Ethan went to sit on the bedside, a new glint of humor brightening his eyes once more. “I said I wouldn’t let him wake up knowing the taste of your blood. Fortunately, Ripper has never had any qualms about extracting blood from me.” He sliced open the meaty part of his arm in one quick motion and held the dripping life-force over the vampire’s opened mouth.

***

A dark-haired girl ran through the night-clad streets of an ancient city. She looked back as she ran, terror shining in her eyes. There was something chasing her. She ducked in and out of narrow alleyways, but her pursuer remained at her heels. A wrong turn led her to a dead end, and she was trapped as two robed figures closed in. A drain pipe in the corner was her only exit. Climbing as fast as she could, she barely escaped being pulled back, only to be met by a third attacker on the rooftop. He pushed her, and she fell to the ground with a scream. The two robed figures below held her down as she battled for freedom with all her might. The third approached, slowing pulling a long, curved dagger from his robe. He thrust it down into the girl’s heart, killing her. The murderer looked up with a face devoid of eyes, only strange symbols carved into his flesh.

Giles sat bolt upright on the bed, his mind still reeling from the vivid dream. His companions jumped at the sudden movement, but they were quickly rushing to him, radiating relief. The Watcher looked around, catching his bearings as his young friend’s arms wrapped around him. He glanced down to see that all his wounds had healed, his body now strong and healthy again. The bandage on Ethan’s arm told him all he needed to know.

Looking into both of their faces, he finally stated, “It’s time to go back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Approximate translation of Ethan’s spell from the Latin: “I call upon the wrath of Vulcan. God of fire. Lord of destruction. Grant me your vengeance.”


	6. We’ve Got Tonight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Time in a Bottle"(1973) – Written and recorded by Jim Croce.  
> “Lady” (1981) – Written by Lionel Richie, Recorded by Kenny Rogers.

**Chapter 6 – We’ve Got Tonight**

“Listen,” Buffy called up the stairs. “I have to go. I totally forgot this extra shift I have tonight, and if I’m late again my manager is seriously gonna fire me. I should be back around midnight, Will. If anything happens, call Xander. And even Anya said she’d come over if you need her.”

“I’ll be fine, Buffy.” Willow sighed from the top of the stairs. “I’m a little old to constantly need a babysitter.”

The Slayer looked up at her with a worried expression. “This is Sunnydale. We all need a babysitter if the Hellmouth is messing with us.”

“It’s all right. I don’t think they’ll bother me anymore.” She turned her gaze to the floor and mumbled. “If Giles doesn’t really want me, that’s okay. I’m not gonna…”

“Don’t you dare,” Buffy growled. “So help me, someone around here is going to get a happy ending.” She glanced at her watch. “Damn it, I need to go. You just put that thought on the way back burner until I can come home and knock some sense into you.” She grabbed the doorknob, continuing to mutter, “Giles doesn’t want you my ass…” and yanked the front door open.

Dawn was standing there, key at the ready. She saw her sister and grinned, “Hey, Buf--” The greeting was cut off as she was pulled into a crushing hug. “Slayer strength… Oxygen…”

“Sorry,” Buffy smiled shyly as she loosened her grip. “I just never thought I’d miss having the little brat around so much.”

“I’m bigger than you,” Dawn retorted, falling easily back into their usual sister teasing match.

They heard the quick thumping of footsteps on the stairs and Willow was suddenly with them. The witch’s gaze earnestly scanned past her young friend and out into the early evening.

Dawn hugged her tightly and whispered in her ear, “He’s not here. I’m sorry. It’s only me.”

Willow shook herself a little and gave an apologetic smile as the hug was released. “Sorry. I am glad to see you, Dawnie. I just…”

“Don’t worry. I understand.”

“So, is he waiting for it to get darker, or something?” Buffy asked, ushering everyone back inside.

The younger sister bit her lip before sighing, “He’s not coming. They dropped me off, and they’re gone.”

“Oh,” the Slayer frowned. The thought that it was her that Giles couldn’t stand to see was clearly written on her face.

“Giles said that there’s something up, something he doesn’t understand yet. He and Ethan are on their way to London. They think they can figure it out there.” She touched Buffy’s arm comfortingly. “He said he wanted to get the information as soon as possible so you would know what’s coming. As soon as he does, he’ll be back.”

The Slayer nodded slowly. “Did he say anything else… about me?”

Dawn shook her head.

Willow frowned, knowing what her friend was looking for. “You know how Giles gets when he’s trying to figure something out. I’m sure he’s not still upset at you.”

Buffy swiped angrily at a tear before it could fall. “Even if he is, that’s no excuse for not stopping to see you.”

“Well, that’s a little more complicated,” the redhead chuckled sadly. “We were a longshot to begin with, and duty always comes first. Maybe next time.” She raised her hand against more attempted comfort. “Aren’t you gonna be late for work?”

“Screw ‘em,” Buffy sat on the couch pulling Dawn down with her. “First I wanna hear all about the trip.”

***

It was dark on Revello Drive. There were street lights on the corners, but that was hardly enough to light the entire stretch of houses. Plenty of inky hiding places were scattered around the neighborhood. One such patch across the street from 1630 was occupied by a tall figure quietly watching the house.

He didn’t react when Spike appeared beside him and spoke. “Usually I’m the only creeper dares hang ‘round here.”

“Sorry I stole your spot,” Giles dead-panned.

They watched in silence as the light in Willow’s room came on. Spike lit a cigarette and, without a word, the Watcher reached over and took it from him.

“Slayer told me you gave those up,” Spike muttered, lighting another.

“What’s it going to do, kill me?”

That pulled a snort from the bleached blond. “Not anymore. But your little chit up there might not like the taste on you.”

“It’s not something she’ll have to worry about tonight.”

Willow’s light went out.

“Ah, so I see dying hasn’t made you any less of a stupid git.”

Giles took a long drag of smoke and threw the rest of the cigarette into the street. “What do you know about it?”

“I know that we can both hear a sweet and brave young woman up there crying to herself ‘cause she thinks she’s not wanted.”

The Watcher turned his back on the familiar house. “Better a few nights of tears than what might happen if she ends up with me.” He took a step, but Spike blocked his path. “Willow will be safer and happier without--” The halfhearted explanation was halted by the impact of Spike’s fist rocking him back. Giles angrily flashed into game-face, but quickly regained control. “I’m glad you care so much about them,” he spoke calmly, “but I won’t let my feelings endanger--” Another punch to the face. “Spike! Let me pass,” came as a dangerous growl.

“No! Not until you tell me.” His third punch was caught in mid-swing by the larger vampire.

“What is it that you need so desperately to know?” its target ground out.

Spike tore his arm away, matching Giles’ intensity. Perhaps the Watcher was finally angry enough to face the truth. “Tell me what you’re so bloody afraid of. Why the fuck are you standing down here listening to the girl who loves you cry, instead of up there showing her how you really feel? If Buffy ever felt like that about me…”

Giles’ eyes bore into him with murderous rage, enough that even Spike fought the urge to squirm. The next moment he broke, his features crumbling into despair. “Because I can’t face losing her… I can’t see Willow end up like everyone else I’ve ever loved.”

The large vampire folded to the ground, his grief too heavy to bear.

Spike took a seat beside him, giving him a minute to school his boiling emotions. Then said, in a conversational tone, “Bet you’ve recently come face to face with every single one of ‘em, too.”

There was confusion in Giles’ eyes when he looked up. “What makes you say that?”

“’Cause ever since you and the Nibblet took off, I’ve been getting visits from everyone with two cents on the subject. Slayer, Dru, even bloody Angel. All yackin’ at me night and day, telling me that if I want to protect the little witch, I should keep you away from her.”

“Then, why aren’t you letting me go?” he asked softly.

Spike smirked, “Since when did I ever listen to people tellin’ me what to do? Point is, they were all a bit too reasonable, making too much sense. Even Dru. I mean, if she was gonna come back for you, she wouldn’t be bothering me about it. You’d just wake up an’ find yourself chained to a bed somewhere.” Giles couldn’t help a nod of agreement. “Then, a couple days ago, I got fed up with one of Angel’s rants and chucked a bottle at him. I’ve always thought the puff was transparent, but never seen anything go through him before.”

“You think someone’s using people from our past against us?”

“Not only us, Mate. Other day Willow told me she wasn’t worthy of you. Doesn’t sound to me like something Red would come up with by herself.”

Giles glanced back up at her window and growled, “Not Willow.”

“Got me thinkin’, why should so many people care if the boring, old Watcher starts bringin’ the girl flowers, or even starts showin’ her his antiques?” Spike smirked at the look on Giles’ face when he caught the vampire’s meaning. “Especially after seeing you two together in L.A. Fact is, they wouldn’t.”

“But something clearly does,” Giles continued the thought.

“Well, I haven’t been sober long enough to figure that part out. You got any ideas?”

They sat quietly for several minutes. At last Giles spoke up. “The demon,” he muttered.

“Gonna have’ta narrow that one down for me, Mate,” Spike chuckled.

“I was thinking about my demon, Magister. The reasons he wanted Willow so badly. I don’t think it was only my hidden desire driving him.”

“Way I hear it, he had big plans.   The kind that requires plenty of power.” The blonde’s eyes widened as he caught on.

“And by adding Willow’s natural power to his own…”

“Not his, Watcher… yours. You two were supposed to become a literal black magick power couple.” Spike sped up as his mind absorbed the concept. “Only, the demon didn’t get the chance to turn Red, and now you’re back to being a white hat extraordinaire.” Giles winced at the title, knowing he was no hero, but Spike didn’t notice. “So, instead of being this giant force for evil, if you two hook up now… Well, maybe something is trying to head off a huge threat to its bad plans.”

“It must all be connected. The dreams, the robed men… Something big is starting. That’s why I have to go to London. The Watchers Council library is the only place I know of that might have the information we need.”

“Ya’ sure it’s a good idea for you to leave the kiddies alone when there’s a big bad on the way?”

“I have to. Our most powerful weapon is information. Buffy can handle anything that comes along in the meantime. Plus, I know you’ll be here watching over them all in my stead.”

Spike felt a twinge of… was it pride, even gratitude, swell up. The Watcher had never shown any kind of trust or faith in him before. It was a strange, almost frightening feeling. He’d never before worried about letting this pompous prat down, but suddenly… Spike shook off the feelings and chuckled, “Council’s not gonna be too pleased to see you on their doorstep.”

“Oh, I’m counting on that,” Giles gave a wicked smirk.

When he attempted to rise and leave, his companion caught him by the arm. “Don’t you have someone to say goodbye to before you disappear again?”

Giles’ face darkened. He sighed, “Just because we’re being manipulated, doesn’t mean everything isn’t true. If I let Willow into my life--”

“News flash, Mate. She’s already in your bloody life. And you are in hers. After everything you’ve been through… Tell me this, why didn’t you ever tell her how you felt before Mr. Evil let the cat outta the bag?”

“Because it would have never worked,” Giles stated in a sure voice. “Willow was a child, my student. Then, when she wasn’t, there was Tara, and I could see Tara was everything Willow needed. But, even without all of that, even if she by some miracle decided to return my feelings, I wasn’t going to subject her to this.” He indicated himself. “I wasn’t going to chain her to a bloody old fool. I couldn’t make her watch me…”

“Watch you die?” Spike finished for him. “Guess what, she’s already done that. That girl has seen every possible ugly angle of you, and she’s decided to love you anyway. What you have to face now is that you’re gonna be the one to watch her grow old and die. And what you have to decide is if the joy she desperately wants to give you is enough to make that pain worth it. All I’m sayin’ is that, whatever you decide, you have to talk to her before you take off. Because, if you don’t, if you leave Red hangin’ in this bloody limbo of thinkin’ your cowardice is her fault, I’d suggest you not come back here.” The threat was written clearly in the vampire’s eyes. “All up to you now, Mate.” With that, Spike turned and left Giles staring up at the dark window.

***

Willow was curled in her bed, clutching a pillow. She didn’t know how long she’d been asleep, but she could still feel the sting of salty tears in her eyes.  Her mind searched groggily, trying to find what had awakened her.  It was coming from the roof outside her second floor window.  The soft plucking of guitar stings forming into a rolling melody.  She stayed still and listened, the memory of the last time this happened all too clear in her mind.  But his voice soon joined with the music… soft, tentative, almost unsure.  Not the luring voice of the demon.  The voice of a man, trying to sing what he knew he couldn’t say.

 

_If I could save time in a bottle,_

_The first thing that I’d like to do._

_Is to save every day ‘til eternity passes away,_

__Just to spend them with you._ _

 

_If I could make days last forever,_

_If words could make wishes come true._

_I’d save every day like a treasure and then,_

_Again, I would spend them with you._

 

Willow felt no need to fight the beautiful pull of his voice this time.  She moved, silently, as if floating on an unseen cloud, toward the window.

 

_But there never seems to be enough time,_

_To do the things you want to, once you find them._

_I’ve looked around enough to know,_

_That you’re the one I want to go through time with._

 

Her tears began again, but not from sorrow.  Did he really mean what he was singing?  After everything, was she truly all that he wanted?  His guitar sang through the bridge, it communicating his lonely pain like nothing else ever could.

 

_If I had a box just for wishes,_

_And dreams that had never come true._

_The box would be empty, except for the memory,_

_Of how they were answered by you._

 

_But there never seems to be enough time,_

_To do the things that you want to do, once you find them._

_I’ve looked around enough to know,_

_That you’re the one I want to go through time with._

 

Giles picked out the last few cords, the last note still vibrating as he moved to go.  But a feather-light hand on his arm stopped him.  He didn’t look back, afraid to see what might be in her eyes.  “Willow, I…” his words came out in an unsteady breath and faltered.

“That was beautiful,” she once again came to his rescue.  “I don’t think I’ve ever heard it before.”

He dared to turn, and almost drowned in the unconditional acceptance he found gazing back at him.  “I-I learned to play it a long time ago,” Giles explained, not knowing what else to say.  “All the girls always seemed to like it.  I’ve…  I don’t think I ever understood what it meant until tonight.  Funny, now that I have an eternity to live, I’m thinking about time.”

Willow smiled uncertainly.  “Did you sing it just because you thought I’d like it?  Or is it really how you feel?”

“I sang it because I needed you to know I love you.  No matter how far I have to go, no matter who or what forces us apart…  I needed you to know that the thought of you will get me through any hell.  The chance that you could waste your love on a fool like me…”

She wiped a tear away with the back of her hand.  “It’s not wasted, Giles.”

He cupped her cheek, his thumb caressing the soft skin of her face.  Then turned away to go again.

“Aren’t you coming in?”

Her loose grip on his arm felt like an unbreakable shackle.  “I can’t,” he whispered.

“Oh,” Willow suddenly chuckled.  “Giles, I invite you in.”

It wasn’t exactly what he meant, but the unexpected humor of it brought the shadow of a smile to his lips.  Before he could resist, she was pulling him inside.

“Please, Luv.  You know I have to go.  I left Ethan to gather everything we’ll need for the trip.”

“Ethan,” she raised her eyebrows.  “And you think he’ll be there when you get back?”

Giles did smile at that.  “No, I don’t.  But I figure he deserves a chance to disappear.  What’s coming isn’t his fight, and he took very good care of Dawn while I could not.”

“We are talking about the same Ethan, right?” Willow smirked.

“The very same.”

“So, your plan was to sing me a song and then make your escape, huh?”  He dipped his head, ashamed.  “But now you’ve been caught.  What if I don’t want to let you go?”

“Willow, you know I need to find answers for Buffy.”

“I’m not saying ever.  I’m just asking for one night.”  She draped her hands loosely behind his neck.

Giles gently slid his fingers tenderly along the silky skin of her arm.  Until they came to a set of fading bruises that perfectly matched their size and shape.  The memory of how they came to be there flashed brutally into his mind.  He jerked away, hiding his downturned face from her with eyes clenched shut.

“Giles, what’s wrong?” she asked as gently as she could.  All he did was shake his head, so she placed a light hand on his hunched shoulder.  “Rupert?”

He glanced at her, the use of his given name sounding so sweet from her lips.  “I don’t understand,” he nearly keened.  She was clearly confused.  “How…  How can you tolerate me touching you?”  He lifted his hand, staring at it in disgust.  “How can you stand having these cold, dead things near you?  Any of this disgusting…”  The vampire was on the edge of breaking down.

Willow stepped around in front of him and took the hand in both of hers.  “Because they belong to you,” she said, kissing one finger and then another.  “Because it’s all you.”  She continued, her velvet lips caressing his palm, the sensitive bend of his wrist.

Another memory assaulted his mind as she continued.  “I should be on my knees, begging your forgiveness.”

With a sweet smile, Willow softly asked, “Do you want to be punished?”

He stared into her knowing eyes, remembering the conversation from only weeks before, though it seemed like a lifetime ago.  “I wish to be Rupert Giles,” he said his line in a whispered breath.

“You are.”  She reached out to trace the curve of his face.  “In the end, we all are who we are, no matter how much we may appear to have changed.”  Willow leaned forward, ghosting a kiss across his lips.

Giles gazed at the sliver of floor between them, still afraid to touch her.  “I don’t know if I can do this.”

“Then let me,” the beauty before him breathed, her hands flowing down his face, his neck, to the buttons of his shirt.

Nothing was rushed, there was not one hurried movement that night, as they explored each other.  Each memorizing the other’s body, as if it were the only chance they’d ever have.

 

***

 

Dawn sighed happily and leaned back against the wall.  She had her eyes closed when Buffy came upon her.  “What are you doing sitting on the floor in the dark hallway?” the older sister asked.

“Shh,” Dawn whispered.  “Giles is being all romantic.  It’s so cute.”

“Giles is in there?”  Before Buffy could reach the door, her sister was standing in front of her.

“He came to see Willow.”

“I know.  I just want to ask him--”

“Buffy, don’t disturb them.  Besides, the way things are going, you might walk in on something you really don’t want to see.”  The Slayer’s nose wrinkled at the thought.  “They both need this, and you know it.  Come on,” Dawn took her by the arm and headed for the stairs, “Let’s give them some privacy.  You still owe me a slaying lesson before school starts anyway.”

Buffy let herself be drawn way.  “I just need to know if he’s…” she murmured.

Her sister sighed.  “He’s about the go halfway around the world and ask the people who tried to killed him for help, just to get information you need to know about what might be coming.  Doesn’t that sound like he’s forgiven you?”

“No.  It’s sounds like he’s being Giles.”

Dawn shook her head as she opened the door into the night.  Without having to look, she called out, “Hey, Spike, wanna go with us on patrol.”  The vampire appeared on cue.

“Sure you’re up for this, Nibblet?”

Buffy rolled her eyes at them both.  “Oh, yeah,” Dawn continued conversationally.  “How’d work go tonight?”

“They fired me,” the Slayer replied matter-of-factly.  “I’m thinkin’ it’s about time we go with the plan to auction you off as child labor.”  She laughed at the younger girl’s worried look.  “Don’t worry.  We’ll be all right.”  Pulling her jacket on, she sniffed at the sleeve.  “I’m just hoping the next job I find won’t linger so much.”  The three disappeared together into the darkness.

 

***

 

Giles stared up at the ceiling, a beautiful woman resting peacefully on his chest.  For the first time since his death he felt content, at peace… warm.  It was as if she had torn the hideous memories from his mind and cast them aside.  He had found heaven in his hell.  The heaven of her arms.

Willow stretched her body along his and moaned happily.  She lifted her head to look into his eyes, quietly studying him for several moments.  A thought brought a surprised expression to her beautifully flushed face.  “Giles…  You didn’t bite me.”

“No,” he smiled.  “It seems you were enough. Everything I needed.”

“Really?” Willow turned her eyes away shyly, but he hooked her chin and brought them back.

“Everything and more,” he whispered, leaning forward to kiss her.  With a wicked twinkle in his eyes, he add, “If I were Angel, I’d be evil right now.”

Willow knew it wasn’t funny, but the thought sent a shiver of heat through her weary body.  She began to think again, worrying her bottom lip.

“What is it, Luv?” Giles asked, seeing she was mulling something over in her mind.

“I…  I was just…”  She frowned, “Would you be mad if I told you I kinda wanted you to bite me?”

He didn’t say anything.  Only slowly pushed himself up on the bed to be able to see her better.  Gently cupping her cheek, he finally asked, “Willow, why would you want a thing like that?”

“Because,” she brought her hand up to the still healing wound on her neck, “Spike said he could smell the claim on me.  Any vampire or demon can.  He also said it wasn’t yours, it was his…  Magister’s.”

“Spike,” Giles growled.

“I don’t want his claim on me,” Willow continued softly.  “I want everyone to know I’m yours.”  The vampire’s eyes began to glisten with moisture.  “Spike also said that all the magick in my blood would make most vampires sick, but, because you and I are the same, my blood was probably the sweetest thing you’ve ever tasted.”

A tear escaped when he blinked.  “I’ve never craved anything more,” Giles confessed.  “But…” he shook his head.

“Even if I want you to?”

“I can’t bite you, Willow,” he whispered pitifully.

“What if you don’t have to?”  She raked her nails across the old wound, ripping away the scabs and letting her blood pool at the surface of her skin.  Snaking her arms around him, she gently guided Giles’ face into the crook of her neck.

His broad tongue drifted across her flesh, collecting the crimson droplets.  As he slowly wrapped himself around her, licking and suckling at her neck, Willow was enraptured.  It was the most erotic thing she’d ever experienced.  Even after having just spent hours making love to this man.  He clutched at her, holding her tighter as if afraid she’d somehow vanish.  She could feel his sharp fangs scrape along her tender flesh, yet never penetrate.  An exquisite ache grew in her with each passing moment.

“Rupert,” she breathed huskily.  “Make love to me again…”

They lay together in a heap of tangled limbs and sated flesh.  Holding on to each other as their time ticked cruelly away.  The singing of the birds welcoming the dawn outside was the most hateful sound Willow had ever heard.

“Do you have to go?”

Giles kissed the top of her head.  “If I don’t want to be trapped by the sun.”

“There are worse places to be trapped,” she whispered lightly.

“Go to sleep, Luv.  When you wake, this will all have been a wonderful dream.”

“As if I could keep my eyes open…”  Willow snuggled into his solid chest.  “Sing me to sleep?”

“But my guitar’s on the other side if the room.”

“You don’t need it,” she murmured drowsily.

Giles hugged her to him.  “Anything for my lady…”  Then he began to softly coo the first song that came to his mind.

 

_Lady… I’m your knight in shining armor, and I love you,_

_You have made me what I am, and I am yours…_

 

***

 

The smell of breakfast lured Willow to the kitchen much sooner than anyone expected to see her.  It was her stomach that announced her arrival.  Three sets of eyes looked up at her from the table.

“Hey, Wills,” Xander smiled.  “You look better.  You have a good night last night?”

Willow blushed profusely, and Buffy elbowed her friend in the ribs.  “Xan-der!” she groaned.

“I didn’t mean…  I was just trying to…”

“It’s alright,” the redhead smiled.  “Yes, I had a wonderful night.”

“Is he gone?” Dawn asked softly. 

Willow nodded, swallowing the sadness that wanted to come.  “He and Ethan should be on their way now.”

“They’ll be back soon,” the girl tried to comfort.

Xander snorted, “They… You really think we’ll ever see that guy again?”

“Of course, I do.  We’re everything Ethan needs, but is afraid of having.”

“What?  A bunch of people who are willing to kick his butt?”

“No,” Dawn said sincerely.  “A family.”

None of the supposed adults had an answer to that.  After a moment, Willow looked at the Slayer and said, “He, um, he wanted me to tell you, Buffy.  He found it.  The answer to your question is, yes.  And he said, when you need him, he’ll be back.  Same as always.”

Tears gathered in Buffy’s eyes.  Knowing she had Giles’ forgiveness felt like being let out of a prison cell.  But she frowned at Willow.  “What about when you need him?”

A wicked grin crossed the witch’s lips.  “Then he’d never get to go anywhere…”

Xander screwed up his face, but before he could make the inevitable disgusted remark, Spike came barreling through the back door.

“Spike!” Buffy yelled, more upset that he’d startled her than anything.  “What are you doing here?”

“Nibblet invited me.”  He winked at Dawn.  “Said she wanted to spend her last day of freedom thrashing me at every game she could think of.”

“Hey, I thought we were gonna play,” Xander groused.

“It’s more fun with more people,” the teenager stated.  “And I just spent more than a week wrangling a moody vampire and a chaos sorcerer.  So don’t think I can’t make you two behave.”

Willow and Buffy laughed, and Spike put his hands up in mock surrender.  The vampire crossed behind Willow on his way to check the refrigerator.  He inhaled close to her neck.  “I see someone claimed herself a big, bad vamp last night,” he purred.

The redhead’s hand shot up to the new bandage at her neck, her blush back in full force.

Xander griped, “What is it with vampires and sniffing?”

“So, you gonna tell us all about the new beau?” Dawn grinned, ignoring him.

“Kinda the best friend’s right to hear all about it,” Buffy chuckled.  Then, with a hint of a frown, added, “Only, not too many details.  He is still my Watcher, and some mystery is a good thing in that relationship.”  Everyone laughed, nodding in agreement.

XXXENDXXX


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